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Still ? Cravings?

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1904

Lance, what if? Your kids will want you in their lives. They are just probably confused and angry right, too. Time is on your side.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 5/1/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 240
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 6,720
Amount Saved: $2,604.00
Life Gained:
Days: 26 Hrs: 6 Mins: 36 Seconds: 51

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1843

Lance, just got caught up on this thread. You've received lots of awesome advice from so many members. Just remember that you aren't in this alone. So many of have different demons, and we all are fighting together to win the battle! I made the decision to quit because my oncologist laid it on the line for me. And even then it took me two days to finally listen to what she said. You made the decision to quit 74 days ago. If I remember, you made this decision for yourself, not with the prodding of a doctor. And yes, it hasn't been easy. But you have been smoke free for 74 days!!!!!!!!! You haven't spent over $450. Thats a good thing. This amount not spent is only going to increase. Is there ever a good time to quit smoking? You are a million miles ahead then where you would be if you were still smoking. It may not seem like it, but I truly believe you are. There are a million cliches I could say, but you said it best. "THIS TOO SHALL PASS". Stay close, somebody is always near by!

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/20/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 494
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 19,760
Amount Saved: $4,940.00
Life Gained:
Days: 73 Hrs: 18 Mins: 5 Seconds: 42

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 183

I do appreciate what you wrote nonic. It is so true, life isnt fun right now. Its perhaps the hardest time I have ever gone through and I threw this in the mix.

Its still hard, but I have been fighting it. Its still a daily struggle with wanting to just give in. But at times I think, what if this hard time Im going through right now actually gets better and then I live longer because of it? There is always the chance that my kids will want me in their life one day and I will see the grand kids as well. And even have friends that are friends. I was always at work and I never had a "life" now its all different. Smoking was a friend for so long and I relied on it for comfort. So now I have no comfort, work or friends or family its very very hard. I hear "THIS TOO SHALL PASS" on another site, my step sister and a business assoc. So I hope it all passes soon. Thanks

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/14/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 74
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 1,480
Amount Saved: $455.10
Life Gained:
Days: 12 Hrs: 0 Mins: 40 Seconds: 25

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

Lance:

I have been thinking of you for the last two days. Frankly, your post concerns me. There is no doubt in my mind that you are suffering greatly and only you truly know the depth of that pain. In the first instance I want you to know that you are not alone. Many of us (not all perhaps) have been what I call "emotive smokers". I know for a fact that I was and could be again if I fail to understand the addiction.

In my case smoking was a refuge, a place I went and a thing I did, when I could not deal with the dreaded slings and arrows that life threw at me. Once I began withdrawal and no longer had my old friends, I was truly naked. It was not a nice place to be. I think you already know this, but I am just trying to give you my background in the hope that you may see some of yourself in this. If you do not see yourself this way, then please disregard and chalk it up to me talking through my hat.

When I began I did not anticipate any of this. I did not even think that I was addicted. Addicted was what I was when I struggled through the rehab process of other drugs. These substances are clearly labeled as addictions by all of polite society. Nicotine abuse on the other hand is not always seen as an addiction. It is often called a habit. But I believe that smoking is as severe an addiction as crystal meth, and all of the other go go substances that no one should ever have had the pleasure to have known. The reason I believe this is because smoking and the actions of nicotine in the body are very subtle. For me smoking was a mood shifter, a shield, a defense against the painful input that the world was sending my way. And the reason I did not believe I was addicted was because cigarettes are sanctioned by the world at large. Its legal, although it should be criminal.

The best thing I did when I began this process was to seek out the services of a Psychologist who specialized in drug addictions. I was fortunate in this as my insurance permitted me to do this for a minimal co-pay. With this fellow I worked out a lot of things that I needed to look at. One thing he taught me was how to seperate and organize the painful stuff so that I could get a handle on all of the bad bits. I realized that I was taking on everything at once and quite frankly running in a million directions at once. I was kind of like a human experiment in string theory. You know, the idea that atoms can be in two places at once...Well I am no atom and trying to be in multiple places at once was not working for me.

I only tell you these things because it sounds as if you have a great many family issues that are haunting you. On top of that you are shedding the one thing that SEEMS to allow you to deal. I promise you that seems is the appropriate word in this case. Smoking will not solve the issues that you face. You know that instinctively, but your body and nervous system have not yet got the message. It all takes time and resolve. But I would suggest that you think about this. Again I am not a Doctor, I have no qualifications to counsel anyone (I am not even sure if I should be counseling myself sometimes). I do wish you well, stay close to this site and more importantly stay close to yourself. You can defeat this addiction and perhaps in the process find even greater strengths that you did not know you possessed.

stay well

nonic

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1096
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 32,880
Amount Saved: $11,508.00
Life Gained:
Days: 209 Hrs: 6 Mins: 40 Seconds: 21

Quit Meter

$66,559.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1373 Hours: 10

Minutes: 26 Seconds: 27

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6339

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

190,170

Cigarettes Not Smoked

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 984

I believe in you too Lance. Have a read of nonic's 'whose garden is this' post. You are not alone...not by a country mile.

x T

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/1/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 1087
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 25,001
Amount Saved: �6,875.28
Life Gained:
Days: 94 Hrs: 17 Mins: 42 Seconds: 4

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 83

I know how you feel Lance. The holidays are a tough time and can stir up sad feelings.

Just remember that this too shall pass. I'm glad to see that you're still posting, that means you havent lost hope. I believe in you

Merry Christmas Lance

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/27/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 57
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 798
Amount Saved: $209.48
Life Gained:
Days: 5 Hrs: 8 Mins: 8 Seconds: 19

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1904

Wow! Seventy days! Do you really believe it'll be easier to get 70 days sometime later? It won't. If my experience is any type of omen, it'll be harder. Each time I relapsed quitting became gamier. Don't fool yourself.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 5/1/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 236
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 6,608
Amount Saved: $2,560.60
Life Gained:
Days: 25 Hrs: 19 Mins: 40 Seconds: 37

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Today's not the day Lance and neither is tomorrow or the following. Your out for the first time, this is actually a good thing, get out and get some air, get going. Are you buying or browsing? Include yourself in the list and treat yourself.

Did you read through this whole thread? The members have given some great advice, take what you need and let it help you. Its 70 days today, you reached a goal and accomplished an amazing feat, there is a good side to today!

Josie, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 183

Still bad, still hating it. I'm stressed, depressed and wonder why I did this right now. I have no one to live for. My wife and kids hate me. So why? I'm out for the first time in days. So many shops to pass by. If I was to relapse it would be today.
My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/14/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 70
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 1,400
Amount Saved: $430.50
Life Gained:
Days: 11 Hrs: 8 Mins: 53 Seconds: 51

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 984

Lean on the folks here too Lance. Lots of us have had the same issues with loneliness, it being the root cause of the nicotine addiction for many, so people will genuinely understand where you're coming from, even if they don't know the whole story. When you're lonely it seems no one can possibly understand but I truly believe folks here do.

Most of all, please remember smoking can never take away that loneliness. If you're feeling low to begin with, you'll only feel like you've failed in some way by lighting up again. And what better way to lift yourself up than to succeed at something that is so blisteringly difficult to do? I agree with Brenda, maybe a visit to your doc wouldn't go amiss?

Wishing you well.

x T

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/1/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 1084
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 24,932
Amount Saved: �6,856.30
Life Gained:
Days: 94 Hrs: 10 Mins: 28 Seconds: 20

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Still ? Cravings?