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Dealing with feelings..then and now..


17 years ago 0 983 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Excellent job Monica, how empowering does that feel....it's the euphoria on conquering something we thought we never could. Nothing will be the same once we start conquering these fears. Maybe that's what's so scary. As non-smoker's we are very different than we were as smoker's. We anticipate being the same, just smoke free, but in actuality, we are going to be different. More self confident, stronger, healthier, fiestier and a new improved self. How can we not be better, look at all we fight and struggle to over come to stay smoke free. We weren't expecting this........but we should welcome it with open arms. Monica, you put it best...WE ROCK!!!!!!! [IMG]http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q185/kaitilina/bikerboop.gif[/IMG] Kaiti [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 42 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 932 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $231 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 40 [B]Seconds:[/B] 31
17 years ago 0 983 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Last week, everything was great...I could take on the world...this week, lot's of emotions and small things get to me easier. I think we are on a roller coaster ride. My goal is to have more patience with EVERYTHING and try and consistently deal with all stressor's (both sad and exciting) evenly and try very hard not to over-react or let things get to me. I'm taking it one stressor and one day at a time. One thing I know for sure...I'm learning so much about myself, and you can teach an old dog new tricks... Kaiti [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 38 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 845 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $209 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32
17 years ago 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
In the years past during the big Jewish holidays I'd be outside no matter what the weather to escape the screams of the little one's (can only take so many hours of that..lol),,and then of course the adults who all have their own point of view on EVERY subject imaginable and then there's the arguing of who is SUPPOSED to light the candles..OY VEY! LMBO! THIS YEAR I DID NOT HIDE.. I rolled with all of it and ------ I DID IT SMOKE FREE! So 'then' I was lighting one after the other to escape the carnage inside..lol.. and this year, 'now', I stayed put, drank a little (emphasizing a little) maneschevitz (very very sweet and strong Jewish wine) and rolled with each crave..Man were there craves combined with intense emotions.. -- BUT I DIDN'T cave and I dealt with every emotion thrown at me! Soooo...this is now and I won and the nicodemon lost! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Monica58 [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 47 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 955 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $423 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 3 [B]Seconds:[/B] 47
17 years ago 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kevin .. sure hope you made amends with your wife :) and I don't think you are overcompensating.. as you said the old you would act one way and the new you is actually the REAL you, the one who simply hid behind the smoke of the cig. (all speculation of course because I really don't know you all that well) Phil, again never received an offline message on IM. I sent you my email this a.m. on IM... hopefully you'll get it :) Monica58 [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 47 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 947 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $423 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 56 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39
17 years ago 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
PHIL~ been on IM, you were there, sent you a message ,, no response :( Windy I agree with you there.. Learning how to cope instead of zoning out. That's what I had done for many many years. I was coping in many situations, but just barely... being smoke free I am now coping 100% of the time. I feel mentally and emotionally healthier as a result of that :) Mr. Ed.. lol.. you are calm.. well most of the time..AAARGGG!! No, I know what you mean about the self confidence .. Me too. Now I feel that I can do almost anything and that is such a gift. Being a non smoker really brings out the best in us. What I mean is .. we really never knew who we really were when we smoked. It was all smoke and mirrors.. We hid behind our cig's in every situation, whether it was good or bad. Being non smoker's has given us so much more time to learn who we are and what we are able to achieve and MAN are we WINNERS or what?! WE ROCK ! ! ! ((((((((((hugs))))))))) Monica58 [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 46 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 935 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $414 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 31
17 years ago 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I have found that since my quit I'm dealing with a variety of feelings/emotions in a whole different way since my quit. It's an odd thing - same situations will arise but now since I'm a non smoker I find that I'm reacting far differently than when I smoked. Do you react differently now since you've quit? Do you feel calmer, or are you more feisty with your emotions? Do you feel that you have more control in a variety of situations which arise or more vulnerable? Just something which has popped into my mind of late... Monica58 [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 45 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 906 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $405 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 38 [B]Seconds:[/B] 21
17 years ago 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
That's me too Cheermom.. I'm far more passionate about a variety of things in my life. And I find that I am much more assertive (yet tactful) when dealing with people or incidents. Letting out my feelings more often and not bottling them up inside of me till I implode. Absolutely Kait, I'm also learning so many things about myself, I think because I'm making myself more of a priority than I've ever done in the past 48 yrs of my life. I don't really know how other's truly see me.. I mean in the past I've always been told how strong and confident I am -- but now I really do feel that way and more so with each passing day of my quit. I seem to have something (the quit) which belongs to only me. I have total control over it and it's given me a new sense of who Monica really is :) I hope more people will respond and let us know how your quit has effected you on an emotional/mental level with stressors/feelings/emotions. (((((((((hugs))))))))) Monica58 [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 45 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 909 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $405 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 1 [B]Seconds:[/B] 42
17 years ago 0 290 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I would have to agree with all the above, especially Mr Ed, that is how I dealt with stuff before, I escaped to burn one, fight or flight if you will. Well I fight now. Not literally, but I don't use others indescretions if they made me mad as an excuse to go have cig. I will hash it out. Up until today that hasn't been a bad thing, it has actually been positive...today I had a problem with the wife (still do). I made I thought was a funny comment about how many sale papers (from same store) she actually needs...The fireworks went off and she got in my face, the old me would have shrugged and went and had a smoke.....The NEW me aint having any kind of disrespect, there is absolutley no reason anymore. I guess my self esteem was lower when I was a smoker, I am starting to get afraid I might be over compensating. There is nothing worse than someone feeling or acting entitled to be an a$$ hole. Something else to look out for I guess. Jeez I guess I could have put this into my very own rant....don't have time now I actually came out here (to office) to slip away into some good music. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 40 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 800 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $184 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 26
17 years ago 0 738 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I have found that I am way more emotional and far less patient. Well, no one would have accused me of being patient before I quit, but I'm even less so now. But I think it has to do with when we started smoking and where we were emotionally then. I think I posted some of this in my Essed thread, too. But I think as we get a few more months showing on our quit meters, we will begin to settle down emotionally as well as in other areas. Someone posted that they were not the same person as when they smoked but that they were the person they should have been. I believe that. I am much more likely to say something now instead of repress it, so that has to be better for me, if I can just remember this: Say what you mean, and mean what you say, but don't say it mean. Denise [IMG]http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p300/DeeKaySss/Bigeyeswingparrot.gif[/IMG] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/16/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 60 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,818 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $450 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 25
17 years ago 0 2631 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Good job of surviving Monica - I was thinking that I might still take some "time outs" when there is too much noise and commotion....I don't like standing out in the cold trying to smoke a cigarette...but I love to go for short walks. Windy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 98 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,978 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $490 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 13 [B]Seconds:[/B] 12

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