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his success, my success

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Diva, CONGRATULATIONS! Making the Dean's list is no small feat. That takes hard work and dedication. Keep up the good work and be proud that you successfully completed a semester on the Dean's list!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Diva,

Congratulations on making Dean's List. Not a small accomplishment. You are intelligent, you are genuine and you deserve compliments. Accept them proudly!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Josie,

Aww, thanks Josie, I am blushing now!

Means a lot to me!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Diva,

Deanes list!!! Way to go!

Keep this compliment close, it is a fantastic achievement and you did it!

Josie, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

I find myself being increasingly emotional and teary eyed in many situation in periods when I am tired or depressed. A compliment can make me cry...I try to remind myself it is ok to be emotional or to cry easily. It is where I am at, at this moment in my life.

As for accepting compliments, I find I am not quite sure what to say. I often do not know if it is well deserved. I made the deanès list for my graduation. And still I keep thinking that people just overestimate my intellect. I often feel like a fraud! Then I figure, hey, I am just as intelligent as anyone else and I deserve it as much as anyone else! And plus, there is so many more ways to calculate smarts than things like school. Some of the smartest people I know were bad in school lol. Anyway, I digress. All this to say, even compliments I can often are akward for me. But I am working on it. I deserve compliments as much as the next guy or gal!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

i've never had self-confidence....people have told me i should, but i don't feel it.....you're smart, you can do anything, but i'm not a very good student and have just gone from job to job. being promoted at work scared me, all the extra responsibilities, never understood the chain of command. you're so pretty, so i gain 40lbs. maybe this post should be under "sabatoge". how do you
have that and then lose it? about expressing our emotions in other ways (other than crying) - maybe we can't because hyper sensitivity is so a part of depression. i know i have to get really calm (usually means tired/relaxed, after long walk, hot bath, klonopin) in order to have big discussion with my husband without crying or becoming the "drama queen".

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

I guess you all must get tired of hearing "I remember when" from me, but I do remember when I cried when I was sad. Laughed when I was happy. Grateful when I was complimented and a bit proud as well. I didn't complain about anything (got numerous comments to this effect) but took everything in stride figuring out a way to handle it and tackled it head on (a football term for you, mom of 3)! I felt a sense of accomplishment at this. I wasn't afraid that what happened yesterday, might happen tomorrow (though there were things back then I wouldn't want to have repeated (death, abusive relationships, etc)....I wasn't afraid of the decisions I would make or how I would handle it or that it may even occur. I had confidence. My self-esteem was always a bit wirey but at least good enough to function. I could do math, concentrate, make decisions, focus, read a book, handle most of my anxiety effectively. Anyone relate? I guess this is that "poor me" syndrome and I need to suck it up and accept that that ain't me no more.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Other ways....perhaps we can write down our thoughts. We can call a friend or loved one, post in the depressions center, take a break and get some fresh air, have some of your favourite food....
However, sometimes, there's nothing that can beat a good cry

It can feel good to let it out.

Members, what are your thoughts?

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Goofy,

You know I understand your crying as we talked about this before. I also understand the feeling that you don't want someone to be nice to you. (Been there many times) Your negative values are the thief of compliments. You either feel like you don't deserve it or you are being pitied. It's likely a combination of both.

It's hard to know when someone is being sincere or when they are patronizing you (I HATE patronizing) Sometimes it's better to just let it go unless it's really important in some way. I figure if there's something that upsetting that the waterworks turn on, I better think about why that issue or comment made me feel like tearing up. Usually there's a bigger issue than the comment to address.

I think you addressed this very well too. You have not really given yourself permission to be in the position you are in right now. You feel unworthy of the compliment because you "should" be doing "XYZ" instead. You are no doubt doing an excellent job right now. No, it's not your former position, but that's not what you are being complimented on. Forgive yourself for not doing your former job and accept the compliment on the job you are doing now. It's a step in the right direction.

Hang in there Goofy, you're obviously very good at whatever your task. Keeping the depression from getting in the way is where you struggle - don't we all?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

aren't there other outlets? legitimate question, I mean surely we can learn to express our emotions (both sad and happy and the range in between) others ways????

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