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Drive - I did it!


Teebs
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9 years ago 0 Teebs 286 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Thanks Davit, Sunny, and Red.
 
I need to do a lot more work around my negative and positive thoughts, but I'm learning to focus more on the positive and this is major progress. I did it, I did have some fun, it was worth it, and I would do it again. I'm letting myself celebrate this success, and I'm also taking care of myself by taking it easy for a couple days after what was a challenging week. My frustration about not making more progress faster I'm using as motivation to reach my ultimate goal of making a full recovery from this. I like the analogy Sunny that it takes a lot of building blocks to make a strong building. That will take time but it is definitely worth building that strong foundation! One step at a time.
User 2
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9 years ago 0 User 2 659 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Congratulations Teebs!!
 
You did and you won!!!!
 
 
Red
sunny123
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9 years ago 0 sunny123 1665 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hi Teebs:  Yup, I agree with Davit on this one.  The success lies in the fact that you went out and did it - whether you felt anxious or not.  Give yourself a big pat on the back for that one.  That particular dragon didn't win - you didn't listen to it and went out and did it.  This is what you celebrate.  More of these outings, the more confidence you build.  Each step forward is like a positive building block.  Takes lots of blocks to make a strong building.  Congratulations!
 
 
On the subject of feeling worn out afterwards.  Yes, that was so true for me.  My children were still young then and I still was a wife and mother so had all the household things to do as well. I used to plan only one big activity per day, because that was all I could handle.  If I went to do groceries, that was it.  If I went visiting a friend, that was my one outing for the day.  My confidence, my strength built up and after awhile I was able to do two major things a day.  That's how I did it, until I was physically, emotionally strong again.  This is o.k., it is taking care of yourself.
 
Davit
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9 years ago 0 Davit 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Teebs

I'm going to play big brother here and rain on your parade. You did good and now is the time to build a positive core belief on the situation, It was not perfect but you did it and I had faith you could, so why don't you. You are digging up a negative core belief here that says it was not good enough. Cage that dragon, it was. It takes time. I keep flogging the perception not the belief. If you think it was good enough and really believe it was then next time will be easier because you will have built a positive core belief to counter the negative one you want to bring up. but if you think it wasn't good enough then you leave yourself open to the "worry" dragon and the possibility of panic. You did do it right, even if it took xanax or didn't it is the fact that you did it. Did you have some fun? Was it worth it? Would you do it again? You better be saying yes! I see positives but you see negatives and I don't want you to.

About rewards, don't think of it as a reward think of it as something to celebrate your success. This way the focus is on the success not the reward. You did it for the success not the reward. If you do it for the reward then soon you will only be able to do it for the reward. Do it for the success and celebrate the success with something you want. Slight difference here but actually a big difference.

Tough love I know but still love all the same, And I am proud of you for sticking it out.

Here for you
Davit.

You did really well, you did not chicken out. The glass is half full not half empty. Be proud of yourself, I am proud of you. It will get easier if you think this way. Don't let the negative dragons fly around you, cage them.
Teebs
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9 years ago 0 Teebs 286 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Well, I'm back home! I enjoyed many parts of my six day trip but there were definitely lots of tough times too - big exposure events every day and a couple of more minor anxiety attacks though nothing as bad as that first day when I had to make myself leave.
 
Today was my drive back home. I didn't have a lot of anticipatory anxiety about it (big deal for me) because I knew my parents would be with me for most of the drive, so I thought it would go a lot easier. It was harder than I expected, and towards the end when I knew I had drive by myself and take the ferry home by myself I did have another panic attack. I was able to get through it without taking a Xanax this time, but now I'm again feeling very worn out now that I'm home and unpacked. Sweatbee and Red - Thanks for letting me know you feel tired after hard exposure too! It sure can take a lot of out of you.
 
I'm trying really hard to support myself and be positive about the fact that I went on this trip and made it through all of these challenges, but I still get bogged down in the frustration of this being hard when it didn't used to be, and some deep-rooted belief that I "should" be making progress faster. I do keep telling myself this was a big deal and a big step and that I should be proud of myself for making it through it. It's hard for me to reward myself for things like this, when I feel like I should be able to do more or at least do this with less anxiety, but I did use some of you as inspiration and I bought myself a candle-making kit that I'm really looking forward to playing with during the next few days while I'm taking it easier. Being able to reward myself is big part of my progress too!
 
I just wish I could feel better after going through so much in the last few days, but instead I just feel totally out of it....I hope you're right Red that a few days from now it sinks in and I start feeling really good. I'll let you know!
sweatbee
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9 years ago 0 sweatbee 122 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
 
 
Hi Red,
 
 
Just a note to tell you that I too get really tired after
I do a really hard exposure, but I look at it as a good
tired!! And like you I rest up afterward but that is
part of my reward!! All my best.
 
sweatbee
User 2
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9 years ago 0 User 2 659 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Teebs,
Congratulations this is huge!!!  You are doing Great!! 
You said you were feeling pretty worn out. You fought a tough battle and You Won..I also feel that way after doing exposure work. All the people and stimulus and stuff.. Then after a couple of days of rest after the exposure I start to feel really great and much stronger, better than before the exposure.  I would be interested in knowing if you or anyone else feels this way? 
Teebs, don't be surprised if you start feeling really good, like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders now that a lot of the anxiety related to this specific situation is gone. I bet you won't even need the Xanax.
 
Red
sweatbee
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9 years ago 0 sweatbee 122 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
 
 
 
Hi Teebs,
 
 
Just wanted to say way to go!! You did something thing that
you had been nervous about but you did it anyway that shows
how strong you are!!!!! The ride back will be easier but you
will still be making a huge stride! be proud of yourself as
we are for you! All my best
 
sweatbee
Spartan117
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9 years ago 0 Spartan117 49 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Teebs,
 
I just read your story and your accomplishments are HUGE. That's so awesome, good for you!
 
Spartan
Teebs
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9 years ago 0 Teebs 286 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Thanks everyone for all your kind comments.
 
The last two days with the drive and the wedding have really taken a lot out of me. I'm trying to enjoy the rest of my visit here but I'm trying to do a lot in the short time I'm here which makes it a little stressful. I feel pretty worn out, so it was really nice to log on here and read all your encouragement.
 
I'm glad you are all reminding me that this success is something I need to celebrate. I don't know what I'll do but I'll come up with something special for myself for when I get back home in a few days. (The drive back will be a bit easier, because my parents are actually going on a trip that way so we will be driving in two separate cars but together for most of the way. With that I hope to be able to do the drive without a Xanax!)

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