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Hi, I´m CdnGuy, but please just call me Guy

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Please don't tell me you haven't told her all this. Don't tell me you don't tell her you love her at all times of the day. Don't leave it up to her to guess. Been there, done that, and suffered the consequence. I won't tell you how many times I was burnt. It is in the past. You need a little self worth here. Are you worth it. To you, to her. You want it you got to go for it, just like the CBT.

You want to be worth it, you got to be worth it. Starting with you.

Maybe these aren't kind words but I think they are important.

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 653

Hi Guy,

Be gentle with yourself. Start with one thing, get back to the CBT, do the program. You have lots on your mind and plate and you will handle it all, just like you have handled things successfully in the past.

Let us know how we can help.

Tiana, Health Educator

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 89

Thank you Ocean and Davit,

Yep, tunes are cranked. I also have the CBT for Dummies audiobook on my iPod. That really helped this morning.

Travis Tritt's Great Day to be Alive always picks me up, oh and Rodney Atkins' If You're Going Through Hell.

She's never done anything to make me think she would leave me, but that's kind of how my first wife left me.

I went off to boot camp and two weeks later she said she wanted a divorce. Ex said that since I was gone, she was the happiest she'd been in years.

I'm afraid that once my lovely wife has a month or so alone, she'll feel better off without me too. The point of the move was to get out of the rat race, so to speak. So now that she's out of it maybe she'll relax and just think I was part of the problem too, not just the loving husband that was hating the rat race as well.

But I can't control what she thinks, can I? She was terrified that I would use this move as a reason to leave her too! She wouldn't feel that way if she didn't love me right? I have to do what I can do, what we planned to do, and what happens will happen and I'll deal with it then. Stick to the plan as we made it and see what happens.

Wow, a lot of this does have to do with self-worth doesn't it? I mustn't think too much of myself to feel this way. Got to get back to the program and the CBT.

Thank you all again for your kind words and advice.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 43

Hi Guy,

Your house will sell, spring is busy for house sales, I've heard. Eventually it has to sell -right?

I'm not familiar with your situation, but I would assume that your wife will be anxious in her own way to have you back (I know I would be)... talk to her about it too if you can. She most likely shares some of your fears.

And you being all alone with tons of quiet house to think about these thoughts over and over doesn't help either. If you're working on the house, pull out your stereo and blast some old tunes.. ones that bring back good memories, and your days will likely not be so lonely.

Those are my two cents.

We're here for you!

Ocean

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Guy.

Welcome. As you know writing it down puts it in perspective, and that helps, so write as much as you want, and vent as much as you want. We are good listeners and you will know we listen because we answer. You also know that for us CBT is an ongoing process and we have to keep visiting it because of the tendency to revert back to negative thinking. You have the tools to do this I believe but if not, review the program, it works. Some of us have been lucky to have those in our life that understand because it really is hard if you don't. My only close family does not have a clue. My friends do though and many are fellow sufferers.

Here for you,

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 89

Hi,

I'm glad I found this site. Lots of useful information and I've seen some of the posts. Seems like some real good folks here.

The last week has been very difficult and my normal coping with anxiety and panic just isn't working. I've been in panic mode since Tuesday morning, the morning after my wife, step-daughter and dog left across the country to move to our new home.

I have to sell the house here first before going to join them. I feel overwhelmed by it all and terrified about finances. The finances are pretty much worked out, and I'm working on the house room by room to manage the situation. I'm worried that my wife might use this as an excuse to leave me, even though there has been no real indication that she would even think that. I can't seem to defeat that thought. The other thing that's haunting me is that the house might not sell, or if it sells I won't be able to get together enough money to move. Or that I might sell and still end up owing the bank more. Or a million other things....just thinking about it is winding me up again.

I've had problems with depression since I was about 12, but have had it pretty much under control for the last few years. First with pharmaceuticals and CBT, then with a naturopath and continued exercise of CBT methods. But this move has thrown that all out the window!

So I just need a little support, an ear to talk to, and maybe some new ideas. I know I'll live through it. I know I'll get back to my family somehow. I just want to stop the panic so I can get things done and get on with it.

Thank you for listening,

Guy

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Hi, I´m CdnGuy, but please just call me Guy