Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:

logo

Challenging Worry

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-04-20 11:42 PM

Depression Community

logo

Hello

Linda Q

2024-04-11 5:06 AM

Anxiety Community

logo

Addiction

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-04-08 3:54 PM

Managing Drinking Community

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Browse through 411.749 posts in 47.054 threads.

160,527 Members

Please welcome our newest members: eggmegrolf, PearlCat19, mima, FrannyLou, AABBYGAIL RUTH

Etiquette and Asserting Oneself - "Finger- Lickin´" Bad


11 years ago 0 1665 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Hugs:  You're probably right in this instance.  Trust your instincts on this one.  My Dad used to say "Let it go like water off a duck's back".  This too shall pass as your classmate said.

Sunny
11 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sunny, Davit,
I think that if I gave it away, it would cause more conflict. It's easier to leave it for the giver, who is a family member, so things are out in the open.  There are other things that are similar, and the giver doesn't listen.
 
This reminds me of a story of a missionary in India.  He wanted to give something to someone, and found out the person  loved blue cheese(which has a pungent smell to non-cheese lovers). 
 
So he reluctantly gave the cheese as a gift.  The lesson in the story is that sometimes givers have to step outside their comfort zone to understand what a gift is.  Also, the cleric was trying to teach the community about sacrifice and their role with their deity, in a tangible way, with food which is a staple, and prized(especially cheese!) commodity.
11 years ago 0 1665 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Hugs:  Sometimes we have to graciously accept even if we are uncomfortable about it.  I'd wait awhile and give the gift to charity, if it is unopened and brand new of course.  

I don't like that uncomfortable feeling either but at times, you have to give a person the chance to be the giver too.

Good luck on whatever you decide,
Sunny  p.s. that swap shop D. talks about is great!  You can drop things off and pick up something you like, no charge.  Great way to recycle.
11 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
We have a swap shed at the garbage depot. At most depots actually. You would be amazed at the stuff that ends up there. Someone usually has a use for it. 

Davit.
11 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
 

I was given a gift, and can’t use it.

When I politely asked for it to be returned(I don't give gifts outside of charity or know anyone near that price point). Then I was told anyone who tries it will never put it away. I’ve seen it, and don’t like it.

It seems that the giver wants to force it on me, or some other gift. I have neither the time or inclincation for shopping, except for essentials. 
What angers me is the dismissiveness of the person.

I’ve been bullied in different places, but not with gifts

11 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Davit,
I never saw that person again,
11 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Davit,
Thanks for your input.  I check in and let you know how it goes
11 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hugs

Just be straight forward, Say don't slam the door, it works just fine. The door that is. 

I have a neighbour who helps me. He leaves my garage and basement doors open and lights on. The mice love it, they can see when they sneak in. I just go behind and shut things because I really need the help. And I don't need the mice. :-)

Oh and one other annoying thing I've had to deal with is telling people they can't smoke in my car or house.
I really hate cigarette butts in my garden or flower bed too.

Okay that is my vent for today.
11 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Shari,
I'll try that tonight.
 
I'm green with envy at your tactfulness...or is that my natural colour too
11 years ago 0 1071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi,

I had the same trouble with my daughter's boyfriend, years ago.  I just said, "I'm sure you don't realize this, but would you mind not shutting the door so hard?"  And, he said, "No problem."  Once in awhile he forgot and I just let it go, but after awhile he got it and there wasn't a problem anymore.  Hope that helped with a diplomatic answer :)

Shari

Reading this thread: