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13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

How´s the summer been?

I love the summer time, but since that is when my work load is most stressful I feel like I'm not really able to enjoy the season this year! Normally I love going out for hikes, watching sunsets, etc. but this year I've had trouble relaxing enough to really enjoy these activities like I normally do due to all the increased anxiety surrounding my job. As I'm posted in the Coping With Setbacks forum, I'm tempted to walk away from my job for the rest of the season to just enjoy feeling good. I don't want to reinforce my fears, but working to get better at my own pace rather than with a frantic schedule and unsympathic employers is quite tempting.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Coping with Work

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Davit. Filling the time has never been an issue for me - I really want to pursue my career as a photographer more but haven't had the time to put into it yet. I have a long list of things I would do if I left this job! I do get restless if I don't feel productive, but that just motivates me to action. I always push myself, at times too hard. Then I just get confused - should I push myself until I can handle this job without so much anxiety? Am I pushing myself too hard to be in a situation that's not working for me, and that's why I'm anxious?

It's interesting that you mention emotions and maybe carrying too many at once. I have reached this conclusion with the help of my counselor, that my anxiety tends to spill over when I'm not experiencing my emotions fully, instead bottling them up until they come out as a panic attack. I don't really know how to let out anger, for instance! When I try to feel my emotions more it is definitely overwhelming and sometimes I can tell I'm going back to old habits, trying to suppress things which just results in more problems later. Do you have any recommendations of particular articles?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Coping with Work

Thanks for the great advice Davit.

I thought I would post another update. I was *very* close to giving my two weeks notice but didn't feel quite right about it. Instead I had another very honest talk with my boss, who up to this point was not very understanding. I keep things together pretty well at work, even if I'm having a bad anxiety day I tend to hide it, so I don't think anyone really realized how tough of a situation I was in or what I was going through. I told him what it had been like at home before work over the last couple of weeks and I think he finally realized what I've been dealing with.

Instead of quitting I have been taken off the regular schedule at work except for one shift a week. If I feel up to working I can call in and one of the people picking up the extra shifts can get an extra half day off. This takes so much of the pressure off because I was in total survival mode, always worrying about how I was going to make it through the next shift. Now I can still tackle it, but on my own terms. This is a busy time of year for us, but after a year or more of frustration I'm impressed that suddenly they are being so accommodating. It's always hard to for me to talk about my anxiety, but in this case it has finally paid off.

This job goes through October (it's seasonal) so I'm hoping I can take a few extra days off to regroup and then work at getting back in the swing of things. I want to feel like I end the season in a good place, and then I can decide whether or not to return next year (probably not - but at least I will be ending on my own terms).

I am young, and I do want to work through this so I don't lead the rest of my life as fearful as I have been lately! Working through feeling and expressing emotions I think will be a big part of my work. I know I'm still bottling up the frustration/sadness of having this set back and having to cut back from work. I haven't been able to let those feelings out yet - instead I just feel immense relief at having taken some of the immediate pressure off.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Bad experiences with exposure

Jaguar -

I'm sorry to hear you had such a bad experience! Try to protest the charges - if you are persistent and kind they will likely reduce the bill even more. I recently had something similar happen with my internet bill and had some of the charges removed.

Although this happened right after you went through the exposure, it's important to remind yourself not to link the two - just because you faced your anxiety doesn't mean something bad will happen to punish you! This was just an unfortunate coincidence. I know what you're feeling, though, because I've had some bad experiences with exposure work, too. If I go out and have a bad panic attack, I feel like I'm just making things worse rather than working through the anxiety. I guess the important thing is to not give up and just get back out there as soon as you feel ready.

Good luck,

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Mindfulness

Several people have recommended mindfulness training/meditations as being a helpful way to relax and learn to manage anxiety, so I ordered The Mindfulness Workbook and have been working my way through it reading and trying the exercises as I go along. A lot of what I read "clicks" for me - it makes sense and makes me feel better to read and think about the world that way. Today, however, I had kind of a tough experience after doing one of the exercises.

The exercise was all about breathing in positive healing, and breathing out distress and tension. In addition, it was about accepting your body as a whole, and sitting with the feeling of distress wherever you carry it in your body. For me, I carry a lot of tension in my jaw/throat (I've posted before about the gaggy feeling I get). I was fairly relaxed going into the exercise, but tuning into my body like that and areas of tension I really felt my throat tighten up and I started feeling very anxious!

I was just wondering if anyone else has used mindfulness, and if it has helped? Do some of the meditative exercises start out hard and then get better? I know I try to block out what my body is telling me a lot, so it's unnatural for me to tune in to what I'm feeling like that, but I sure didn't like it! It took me a couple hours to start feeling a little better again.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Mindfulness

Thanks Sunny! It's reassuring to know I'm not the only person who got *more* anxious when doing the exercises the first time. I wondered too if I was doing something wrong. I'll keep at it.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

The "gag feeling"

Shari - Thanks so much for this. My allergies were especially bad at the end of July and most of the over-the-counter meds weren't doing anything for my post nasal drip. I'll try the throat spray.

While post nasal drip makes my "gag feeling" worse, I just found out that the feeling is actually a recognized symptom of anxiety with a name:

This is reassuring to me, because I was starting to worry there was something else wrong with me when the gag feeling didn't go away even when my allergies got a bit better. At least I can tell myself it's the anxiety and that it won't hurt me, even if it's uncomfortable!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Tip of the day...gratitude journal

Journaling or writing in general can definitely help anxiety, like Davit mentioned. During some of my worst moments writing about what is going on and what I'm thinking and feeling can provide some of my only relief. Try it, if you haven't already!

In terms of a gratitude journal, I've been doing something similar. I purchased a book called "The Happy Book" by Kempster and Leder and it is full of guided exercises to focus you on what makes you happy. On one page it may tell you to write in your favorite recipe or a list of songs that make you happy, and on another it might have you scribble in your favorite color or draw a map of important places that make you happy. It may sound kind of silly, and some of it is, but it definitely gets you focused on positive thoughts. I always feel better after filling out a new page, and even if I don't want to get creative just flipping through the ones I've already done is a great pick-me-up!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

hit a ruff patch but doing better

Sweatbee -

I'm also in the process of learning to give myself permission to have the ups and downs. For me, it's easy to get too black and white in my thinking, either "I'm better!" or "I'll never get better!" Even though I know that's not realistic and that it will be a bumpy road to recovery I still feel that way after an especially good or bad day. Good for you for sticking with it all!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

The "gag feeling"

Whoops, I didn't know we weren't allowed to post links so they took my link out of the post below. The name of the feeling of having a lump in your throat is globus pharyngis, also known as globus hystericus, and you can find more information about it by searching online.

Sunny - I read about neti pot but it sounded kind uncomfortable to irrigate the nasal passages that way. Was it?

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