You deserve to trust yourself. What does it feel like to trust yourself? If you are "sitting in" this feeling where do you feel it in your body? What comes up for you?
OMG, I am so paranoid. If I walk into a room and people are laughing I think they are laughing at me. I have leaned that I am really not all that important.
I would show up totally loaded and when asked if I had been drinking I would get mad and say one or maybe two. Then I would likely leave and go have a bunch more and think that she was so rude for not believing me.
Not sure we have to go over the same steps but we have to come to terms with our short comings in order for history to not repeat its self. The same person WILL drink again. If nothing changes nothing changes.
That's very interesting. That trust is like walking in the woods and you have to go back over the steps to make them right. I agree that it takes so long to live down the wrongs we've done to our loved ones. I was the same way when I was at my bottom and for about the year leading up to it....when if my husband would ask me what I'd had to drink I'd always say just 2 drinks...He was more mad about the fact that I'd lied to him or hid it from him than the amount. That's what I never ever got! It's the lies that kill the trust. Yep, and I'd rant also about trust and being doubted---blah, blah...it's almost comical if it wasn't so sad. Well, I think that I need to work on patience. I want everything to go back immediately. It doesn't work like that. And then I have to not get paranoid---which I do because I think everyone "thinks I'm hiding something" it's crazy making! Thanks for the insight.
I was told to thing of trust as a walk in the woods. Now walk in the woods for 10 years stop and turn around, it will take 10 years to walk out. Each step will get better and better.
Its funny how we drink and come up with all these lies and expect everyone to believe them. I did it for years. I would be somewhere that I should not be while there I wouldn't worry at all. On way home I would come up with a good lie and stick to it like the truth. Even cough red handed I would still lie. To the point of being mad that they would not believe me. Oh and then the odd time I would tell the truth and they still doubt me. OMG lose it I would.
Anyway just a rant. I have the capacity to be honest, if you don't believe me that is your problem not mine.
To the bad not for me, there is a relationship or two that I have had to walk away from because they would not give me a change with their trust. In time the may but right now, I am too young in sobrioty to deal with their hatred almost of what I was like.
Hi all! This weekend was a big success for me in that I felt like my husband finally is trusting me again. Things are going well and I'm getting back to the business of being me and being in charge. Funny...that's usually when I self distruct....like it's impossible to meet expectations because I'm just "that bad". SO---the defination of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results, right? With that thought in mind, I'm trying something else....I'm going to feel proud of myself for success...i'm going to embrace the expectations and try to rise to them. Be a grown up, be responsible and be a partner in my life not just a rider on the wave of life. (I don't think that made sense but, it's what I typed so I'm leaving it!)
I love being trusted and I think that once I lost control of things---and as we know that happens and we don't even realize it until it's too late. I think when it happened I decided that I didn't trust myself or that I didn't deserve trust. That frame of mind is not helpful. SO---I'm going to trust myself that I can do this. Trust myself that I'm going to make the right decisions and work to be the person I used to be and wish to be in the future. I love feeling trusted and I love it that my kids are respecting me. Makes me respect myself more.
Trust is a beautiful thing....trust yourselves and others will trust you. That's what I think anyway. Have a great day!
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