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11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 186

Very well done Viv and Working On It.Thanks for the Great post's

I too am in the Maintenance phase.

I think the biggest change for me was accepting the fact that smoking did not make things easier to deal with

or go away.So in the maintenance stage I will continue to deal with lifes ups and downs as a non smoker

who is way more mellow and able to take on anything .If life was simple it would be boring.

Strength to us All

Sherry

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2778

Hey Viv!!!

There are lots of words of wisdom here so I keep coming back for more. - See more at: http://sg.stopsmokingcenter.net/supportv7/replytotopic.aspx?Forum=17&topictitle=Change&ForumName=Health%20Educator%E2%80%99s%20Corner&Topic=50966#sthash.PQlYFumX.dpuf

There are lots of words of wisdom here so I keep coming back for more." Now, THOSE are words of wisdom, buddy! You have prepared yourself well and have a great understanding of what it takes to defeat this addiction! You are doing great! Time for a reward!!!

There are lots of words of wisdom here so I keep coming back for more. - See more at: http://sg.stopsmokingcenter.net/supportv7/viewmessages.aspx?forum=17&topic=50966&ForumName=Health%20Educator%E2%80%99s%20Corner&TopicTitle=Change#sthash.zrP7CqNC.dpuf

Jim

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11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1140

Wow, VIV. What a thoughtful, reflective post! This type of self recognition and the ability to share some of that here has helped me to stay on track. I believe it will also serve you well.

I think I devoted the most energy to the preparation phase, but I didn't actually share a lot of my thought process at that time. It took me 4 months to wean myself down to that last cigarette, even using NRT's. I was reticent to post because I knew I was doing things "the wrong way," and I felt that the tedium of my quit process was annoying to others. I spent more time reading than posting during that time. I think it was also so that I could kind of soak up the message of what quitting was all about and all the baggage that goes with that head trip.

Although I am technically in the "maintenance" phase of quitting, I kind of feel like there is more than just maintaining going on. I read a post a while back form someone here who said something to the effect of: You have to continue to move forward in order to not move back. I get the sense that this may be true for me, at least for a while. There are certain habits of both behavior and thought that went with smoking all those years. I feel that I have to change some of those behavior and thought patterns in order to keep my quit.

Some things that I have been working on changing lately have been:

1) My tendency to go to extremes. This goes with my little signature that "slow and steady wins the race." This is in contrast to one of my old mottos: "I do not go gently..." I had tried to be quick, hard, and severe with myself in many ways over the years. As a result, I believe I have been impatient with others, as well. Although that type of thought process is useful in crisis settings (which was an asset for me in many of my employment scenarios) , it is not necessarily good to treat one's self and others that way all the time. It was also a lousy way for me to approach quitting, since I responded to my own slip-ups by giving up for years.I think that learning to be more accepting, gentle, and patient with myself and others will actually empower me to stay away from cigarettes in the future, too.

2) Focusing on health, rather than simply the appearance of health. Since I have quit, I have gained about 10 stubborn pounds that I really don't like. Weight has been an issue for me for most of my life. I think I probably used cigarettes as a food substitute/ oral gratification more than I believed I was when I was smoking. At first, I was obsessed with getting the weight back off through exercise (the more difficult way, but I don't like going hungry). I ended up injuring myself a couple of times from overworking. (Guess I needed to go back to #1 on that, too.) Right now, my focus is on getting regular exercise that leaves me feeling good. I believe that, over time, I will lose some pounds. At the moment, the pounds look better since I am creating more muscle mass. I also feel better as a result of the yoga and the bicycle rides outdoors. I keep reminding myself that I wouldn't be able to do those activities nearly as well if I were still smoking, and that I am way healthier than when I smoked, even if I had added more than 10 lbs.

...I also noticed that some other aspects of my appearance changed when I quit. Lines in my face kind of came out; oddly, it was like something in the cigarettes was preserving my appearance. However, I kind of like those new lines, as they make my face look more relaxed to me, like a healthy person of my age.

Well, VIV, thanks again for your response. I wasn't initially going to respond the the health educator's prompt here, since I didn't think I had much to say. But reading what you wrote got me to think a bit more about my own process. Obviously, there was more happening than I initially thought.

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11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 115

It's interesting to look at these stages of change.Particularly now that I am in the final stage of maintenance I can see the previous stages very clearly. Yet in those earlier stages the margines become blurred. I felt so anxious between contemplation and preparation. The fear being that I may never take that step forward but just slip back. In fact that's exactly what I did so many times. Back to the comfort zone of pre-contemplation. Back to becoming a social outcast! Standing outside workplaces,parties, family members homes, pubs, weddings, getting my fix of nicotine that very quickly ran out leaving me craving for another. I feel looking back just ten weeks ago when I was in the preparation stage that it was really important to get that right. A number of things did not work out, my date for stopping was put back by fourteen days. At last I took the step. Yes it is quite a shock to make such a drastic change. I feel we have to have strategies in place to cope with this in the early stages in order to stick with it. Things to do in times of stress. I have found that I have needed more time on my own to think. I needed time with myself to reason and recognise that the physical craving was very soon over the biggest problem was my mind telling me that I really must have a smoke. Yet when I imagined actually doing just that I recalled how it had been some years since I really enjoyed the experience. It has been a real asset for me to come on here as often as I can and more especially at times of stress to read others comments. It's great to know that there are others out there trying just as hard to win this battle. It is also great to know that many are old hands at it, yet still recognise the need to be vigilant themselves whilst offering support to us learners. There are lots of words of wisdom here so I keep coming back for more.

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11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

People are sometimes ambivalent about changing, as there may be losses as well as gains.

Make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of changing, so you can, with a clear head, evaluate if you really want to change. Many people pass through a set of stages in the process of change:

Pre-contemplation, in which they aren’t thinking of change
Contemplation, in which they think of change in the next six months
Preparation, in which they plan change within the month
Action, speaks for itself,
Maintenance, in which they cope with errors in order to maintain their change

Which stage are you in? What's it like there? What advice would you give to others in lower stages?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

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