BGH, I'm sorry to hear of all of the troubles you are going through. At least you can see the humor in the junkie's logic with the smoking before the tax starts! It's amazing what our addicted brains will try to tell us! Just laugh it off and be proud of your 42 days! Hopefully, the diabetes will not get worse. At least now that you know about it, you can do something about it. I'm sorry the shopping didn't work... perhaps a nice, hot bath? Hope you start feeling better soon! Be good to yourself... you deserve it! Crave the Quit! Pam [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 298 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,473 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1230.74 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 8

Sweetheart Can you please help. Strange, I had two real desires to smoke today. Doesn't happen often. I managed to break away. What can I do next time?

MistMoon, Turns out we didn't picket the building, because we, the tenants, are winning. The lawyer did not want to mess up the negoitiations. We did not find out about it becaue the community organizer was out sick. We've got rent control in San Francisco and this company felt that it was not under its laws. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 44 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,770 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $325.6 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 12 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40

Stickin It, I really wish I knew. I'm clawing it right now. I know that my problem is caused by sadness and anger. And talking about it has helped. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 43 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,732 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $318.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57

And I just want to cry. I know that I am having a lot of problems with anger right now. A lot of it justifiable. But I somehow need to let it go. I can't do much about the situations right now. I am having a toe scan tomorrow. I had neuropathy testing last week, because my podiatrist believes that I have nerve damage in my feet. My doctor and I have been watching for diabetes for over a year now and decided just July 31st that I have it. I've been wearing diabetic socks, because my toe has been numb for a few weeks. Apparently, the podiatrist knows that my toe is numb, too. Diabetes couldn't be the cause of this. I've been seeing the podiatrist for two years. I just don't walk right. I'll be tested for learning disabilities Friday, which to some people seem silly, but there seems to be certain types of jobs and situations I can't handle. I got into a nurse practitioner program and am applying for PhD programs. Which can I do? Or neither? Then there's the sleep clinic next month. Ha! Ha! Fooled you. I couldn't sleep before I quit smoking, although it did get even worse for a while. I walked and shopped all afternoon. Bought small things. Salvadorean and Chinese food for later. Have you heard of pork and cheese pupupas and Chinese roasted pork? Yummy. Vitamin C drops... I noticed that the mom and pop stores have protest posters up. California wants to add $2.60 tax to each pack of cigarettes. The posters had some tips on them for protesting. For a half hour, I couldn't figure out if I belonged in that fight or not. Or whose side I was on. Then the junkie, who has been very active lately, got in on it, and told me that I needed to smoke as much as I could before that tax kicks in because after it does, I won't be able to afford to smoke at all. The recovery is that I do catch Nicodemon in all his silliness. However, I am clawing my way through life right now. I keep telling myself it just might be really difficult for a while, but if I just get through it today, I will probably not go through anything like it again, or at least will have more coping skills when I do. I keep reminding myself that I'm quitting for today. There is no tomorrow. I'm still quit! Hey. Hey. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 42 [B]Cigarettes Not

Just knowing I have support is enough. I have clinical issues. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 43 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,722 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $318.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 26

That should be that I sleep in two hour shifts. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 43 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,722 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $318.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 52

I know what you mean. I have a live journal account. I think picketing the building today (long story here) were I live would have helped me dump some of my anger. I was really looking forward at getting back at management. The lawyers and community organizers let us down. Hope to get an explanation tomorrow. I sleep in two shifts. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 43 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,722 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $318.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 46

Well, the brain dump makes it feel better, doesn't it? I've recently started journaling agian. I never really noticed it before, but there's a big difference between jouranling online and on paper. I have a LJ account, and I dump a bunch of stuff there, but there tons more in my head thtat cna't seem to come out there, and it helps to get it out. *hugs* You're going to be OK [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 37 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,037 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $481 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 46

Oh boy - i'm having landlord crap, too. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 37 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,085 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $481 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 34 [B]Seconds:[/B] 18