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My return to smoking


17 years ago 0 1073 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I am very glad to see you back at it cincere! Congrats on 3 days! woohooo! I love a good quitter! :p [color=Purple]~lbugg~[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/17/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 537 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 30,093 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3759 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 52 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10
  • Quit Meter

    $52,552.50

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 919 Hours: 22

    Minutes: 54 Seconds: 14

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    7007

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    175,175

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

17 years ago 0 1151 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Cincere, Welcome back and great job on those first two days! It's so funny because I just included this post in one by 4my2girls as she is having a tough time. I didn't even realize that you had come back! Your honesty after your relapse always stuck with me and I believe it does help those that are struggling to break the romantic thoughts about smoking again. Thanks for that and I know you can do it this time. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/5/2004 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 762 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 15,253 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3429 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 56 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 59 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54
  • Quit Meter

    $37,095.50

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 641 Hours: 14

    Minutes: 11 Seconds: 19

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    5707

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    74,191

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

17 years ago 0 12049 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Cincere, Welcome back and good for you for getting back in there. Your right, protect this quit and make it yours only. Come to us for support and we will guide you through. Use those coping mechanisms and make a plan for avoidance and relaxation techniques. We are always here! Keep Strong, Josie _____________________ The SSC Support Team.
18 years ago 0 537 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey cincere, Bummer you had such a great quit going... it happens though. Through this quit I have asked myself many many times if it was worth it. I can not to this day tell you right now that it was worth all the headaches. Everybody tells me that it is worth it. So I keep telling myself that I will feel differently tomorrow... and say it's worth it. See you next week. Take care, Ron [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 31 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,098 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $209.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 37 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17
18 years ago 0 2436 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
cincere - I so agree w/several posts here. You have a built-in, ready-made Reward set up for you, IF you are willing for your trip to be that for you. And as we all know, no one can make the decision to quit but you. It took such courage to share your post w/all of us. I am grateful for your courage and for your post. It has touched me and I know it will touch others as well. I know you know there is love and support here for you. When you're ready.......... Many Special Blessings- Healer [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 37 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,320 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $172.05 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 28 [B]Seconds:[/B] 41
18 years ago 0 60 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sorry about your relapse and I came on here today because I was looking for reasons why I should not have just one. Even though I do know why I shoudlnt I was looking for some support. I too feel lost at times and feel like maybe I could be one of the lucky ones and smoke and not get damage from this but I already know that is not gonna be so. I cant gamble with my life as it is not fair to my daughter. I brought her here to raise her and it is my job to do so. But I do also want to feel like I dont want one and feel like I have over come this because I know like you know now one is just going to bring me back. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 49 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,744 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $245 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 25
18 years ago 0 1687 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Cincere, I'm not mad at you, but I have missed your encouraging words. You have so much courage to come here and ask for help again. And thank you for your honesty not only to us, but to you as well. I bet old nicodemon :eg: is hating this post. Boot him in the behind and lets get on with your quit. We are here for you Cincere, I agree with Lady lets do it now, and when you do go on your trip you can still celebrate. I celebrate everyday, every morning I say "one more day to go", I think that I can take anything for one day. I don't look at weeks, months, or God help even years, just today. I don't care if you have 1 day or 1,000 days. Come on back Cincere, we are waiting for you..... :) Blessings of light sent your way, SUNSHINE [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 94 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,609 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $329 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 13 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 48 [B]Seconds:[/B] 12
  • Quit Meter

    $230,004.56

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 6398 Hours: 19

    Minutes: 2 Seconds: 9

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45433

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    681,495

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 214 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Dear Cincere, Your post made me sad, but you are so great to be so honest and write what you did. I am sure it has helped so many people to read your post. I hope the next time works for you. Iwin [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 90 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,814 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $360 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 10 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 58 [B]Seconds:[/B] 45
18 years ago 0 96 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Let me start by saying that I am touched by all your responses. I didn't post this to find support or encouragement or admonishment for my choice to smoke again. I really wanted this post to be an eye opener. For those who may be on the verge of relapse. That nasty nicodemon can speak rather loudly and may convince some that the pains of quitting are just not worth it so I wanted to bring to light the pains of relapsing. Lady, I am sorry for the confusion and will try to answer your questions. Smoking again seems to have decreased my depression in the sense that My brain seems to be subdued. As if there is a blanket over it and I am not dwelling on as much stuff. This is not a good thing as I no longer think or see or feel as clearly and therefore am not dealing with reality as I should. My problems are still there but they are masked in a shroud of smoke. This may sound like a good thing,not feeling,but really it means that I am not living to the fullest. I will stay stuck in a day to day routine rather then moving forward and discovering all that life has to offer. I don't know if this makes since but it is my interpretation of what seems to be happening. This does not make me happy,actually it saddens me and frightens me, to realize that I am less of a person because I am an addict. So the answer to question 2 is that smoking has not made me happier just less aware of my depression. As for my buddy? He still stinks (figuratively and litterally) except now,I do too. I do not feel better since I went back to smoking. This may sound confusing as The depression is lifted somewhat but I do not feel good about myself. I no longer feel the pride that quitting gave me. I have let my children and myself down. I do not feel as much anger but I am afraid and anxious. As for my trip. I would like to cancel my trip however we are visiting relatives in Alberta and my sister in law has scheduled a week off work to be with us. While she doesn't smoke most of her family does and that is why I have decided to wait until I return to quit again. Quitting for me means secluding myself for the first 3 months or so and I can't do that while I am away. Redrosie. Congratulations on making it to the beach. God willing and with a lot of effort, I will join you down the ro
18 years ago 0 96 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi everyone. Some of you may be wondering what happened to me. Well, I have gone back to smoking. My full blown relapse was a choice. A stupid one whereby I caved from a family crisis coupled with depression and bought a pack of smokes. I have since bought many packs and am again smoking 25 cigs a day. My return to smoking wasn't easy. I became very nausiated and dizzy. I overdosed on nicotine and suffered the most excrutiating headache. It took a few days of this until the worst of the side effects passed and I entered the maintenance stage of as I said, 25 cigs a day. The results of this is that I now stink like an ashtray. I spend alot of time in the cold/rain to get my fix. My cough has returned. I feel like a hipocrite and will never say never again. My children are very worried,(my 6 year old tells me that he doesn't want me to die). My nervous system is constantly stimulated so that I feel nervous and shaky all the time and I no longer have the same motivation to keep up with the exercise program that made me feel so good. I no longer feel so depressed but I know that this is due to the fact that I am self medicating with nicotine and thus keeping my emotions at bay. Feelings are depressed and I am no longer searching for my worth and place in the world. I simply smoke and smoke and smoke some more. My husband discouraged me from jumping back on the band wagon of being quit as ,in his words,"I've finally got my buddy back". His smoking buddy that is. I am going on a trip next week as it was planned for my 100 day celebration and it's too late to refund my tickets. When I return, I plan to quit again but I dread having to go through hell week and the first 77 days all over again. Anyone out there who may be feeling down and wondering if its worth it? (the quit I mean) It is soooo worth it. Do not torture yourselves by smoking again because you will regret it and you will want/have to quit again down the road. We are all worth attaining freedom from this horrid addiction.

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