I'm the first to admit that rewards sort of defeat me. I'm like, Why should I reward myself for correcting a self-destructive, anti-social, perfectly disgusting behavior? But at the same time, I get that rewards help keep us on the path toward freedom from cigarettes, so I'm all for that.
I bring this up only because I got a most unexpected reward tonight, and share it in the hope that you might also be on the lookout for a simliar serendipitous reward. I mentioned earlier, in another thread, that Spouse was ill and I was unwilling to cook and smell up our apartment while she was sleeping, so I feared for my personal hunger piece of HALT. Spouse woke up ravenous and suggested we go out. (Huh? Never argue with ailing spouse.)
So we go out (she chooses ITALIAN!! She's SICK, for cyring out loud!), but there we are. Halfway through dinner, she's like, "I don't think I've mentioned recently how great you smell!"
You KNOW what music that is to an ex-smoker's ears!! We always looked terrible (the skin, the stains, the jitters when we went too long between hits), and you know how awful we smelled.
Sometimes the rewards come out of left field when we least expect them. When the fight begins to be unbearable, when the craving for nicotine blurs all of our rational senses, when we begin to presuade ourselves that the SSC is all a big old crock and we'll never amount to anything... when all of that happens (sometimes all at the same time!!), I hope we all hear that voice, "You smell really great."
That's all it takes. We smell really great. Let's celebrate that and make it reason enough to go WON more day.
Works for me, for now.
peteg