Hi jdoe : ) Thanks for your kind words in return! I'm glad to share some tips that helped me cope with my own triggers that derailed my previous Quits. I really hope they help you too! Not sure if you checked out Allen Carr's 'Easy way to quit smoking" book yet? It may help you with your fear that 'it is too late for you now'.
You know Allen Carr died of a smoking related disease, but, he believed that he lived much longer than he would have, had he not come to his senses and quit when he did! He said that his last 23 smoke free years were the best years of his life! So you see, no matter what, it's never too late to quit!
I agree with Willis too, that the smoke that helped you 'fit in', cope, enjoy yourself, feel smart or be cool actually did nothing of the kind! You simply believed the cigarette had the power to do these things. But it's just a little cancer stick that didn't help you do anything - it was you who managed to work through every one of your situations, no credit to the cigarettes at all.
So if you’re cranky and/or people don’t understand what you’re trying to achieve, then maybe you can give them a bit of a heads up on your quit plan and warn them to stay out of your way for a few weeks! I also asked my kids to forgive me when I snapped at them - so we all just blamed Nicodemon! After 7 months, I’m not so cranky with very few thoughts of smoking entering my mind! So it gets better : )
Hey jdoe; I agree with Vincenza; Your honesty is wonderful! I know how difficult (heart wrenching even) it is to come back here after a relapse and 'fess' up to the bitter truth by posting it in black & white for all to see. It feels awful! But there's something cathartic about it too. See what you learned? In your own words, you identified how you've coped with your emotions for most of your life - Smoking as a distraction! It gives you something to do while you stew in your anger/tears/stress/joy or whatever the trigger is that sends you back to NicoDemon whenever you try to quit. Of course, good old guilt gets ya every time at this point, in case the above triggers don’t cover it!
You mention you'd like to "grow up quit smoking and get on with your life". But please don't forget the YOU are NOT your addiction! Smoking is just a (default) habit that you can change! I'm willing to bet that you have completely legitimate reasons for any & all of your feelings! It's so important to acknowledge them, and you've done that here today. Good for you : )
Can you think of some ways to steer clear of your emotional 'smokin gun' or default habit button? Is there any way to deflect that craving just for that (tiny) minute longer so you can cool off & realize you really don't need that smoke to get through the emotion after all? We're with you jdoe. You’ve done it before & you can do it again : ) Remember to be to kind to yourself too; you deserve it : ) Eyja
