Jaws,
Don't beat yourself up here. Okay? You'll learn something from this.
First thing, get rid of ALL cigarettes and ashtrays in the house. Destroy those smokes. That's a hard one but they can't be there. And you can't give them to someone else to keep for you. You'll ask that person to give 'em right back. By getting rid of any and all smokes and ashtrays, when you wake up in the mornings, those cigarettes won't be there for you to grab out of habit.
I know, I know. I wake up every single morning and a smoke comes to mind about 2 to 3 minutes after I wake up then I remember, "Oh yea, I'm a nonsmoker." That feels good to say that. Now this morning, I didn't think of cigarettes that quickly. So, it WILL get better.
Get your house all clean and fresh. Light candles, incense or whatever to get rid of that smoke smell.
You talked about wanting to smoke more while doing things where you always smoked. Those are triggers. You need to avoid those triggers until the nicotene is out of your system. You can't avoid them all but some, you can. Like the telephone, that's a trigger for me and I'm still limiting the amount of time I spend on the phone. My pc is another trigger so I had to clean it good, put a nice candle where the ashtray use to be, sit out pictures of my family, instead of sitting my drink to the left where I used to I sit it to the right now, and things like that. Find your triggers and change them up if you can't steer clear of them for a while.
Are you drinking water? You have to drink lots and lots of water. I mean as much water as you can hold. Water helps with the cravings and flushes the poison out of your system. Make sure you have plenty of gum, candy, sunflower seeds, toothpicks, straws, peanuts, and anything else you can think of to help with that "hand to mouth" thing.
Read the tools to the left under Quit Program Tools. They really help. Okay?
Don't feel like a failure. Learn from this and try even harder. You didn't want a cigarette today.....the addict in you needed it's fix. You'll have to fight but it does get easier and you can talk to us all you need to.
Hugs,
Tutti
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/18/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 7
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B]