Hello my fellow travelers:
I have not attended this site in a very long time. And for that I am the poorer man. But today for some reason I find myself once again at these pages and was shocked to see my name (assumed name) on a number of posts. These days I am apt to become more befuddled with the passing seasons, but I did not think that I could be so unaware as not to remember putting pen to paper or perhaps fingers to keyboard. But I now see that it is not memory malfunction at work, but some kind sole finding old posts that I left during my time of trials. Thank you for that, it is serving as a vehicle for me to once again revisit old things. Being an old thing myself, I kind of like that.
I do hesitate to offer any input these days as I am in truth much removed from the actual pain of withdrawal. One should only write things here that are authentic and of the moment. Having shed the monkey, his teeth no longer draw my blood. But I do understand how difficult this process can be. Cigarettes are used by many as an anti-depressant and a mood shifter. For many years I employed the substances in those weeds for similar purposes. In all of that time I never thought of myself as being addicted. No addiction is the moniker attached to those other substances I monkeyed with in my younger years. But the object of my use was always the same. I was hiding. I was denying myself. I was avoiding the pain of being a human being. Well I am no longer hiding or avoiding. Do not mistake me here, I do find it fairly painful to be a human being, but in many ways the non-addicted self I have become is a much more accepting and perhaps (dare I say) a wiser being.
I hope that all of you who come here, find the support that I found. Do not hesitate to write your thoughts. Let people know when it hurts, they are hurting too. Listen to others, the pain they are describing is your pain. You can leave this addiction behind. It takes guts and hope and resolve to do so. But it also requires the help of others who find themselves wearing your shoes. Help one another, and you will certainly receive the help that you desire. And oh yes, always be homeward bound...
stay well
nonic
My Milage:My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1049
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 31,470
Amount Saved: $11,014.50
Life Gained:Days: 200
Hrs: 6
Mins: 2
Seconds: 48
