This is serious.
On Thursday nights, my ex sometimes shows up for a date, sometimes not. I pass the time spiffy-ing the house, smoking cigs, and drinking beer.
Well, tonight, he called about 2 hours ago. He wanted to see me. I said, "no" and then a few minutes later, "sure, why not?" He was suppose to be here about a half hour to an hour ago.
While I was spiffying things up, I found a cig pack, with 15 cigs in them and broke them at the filter, tossed them in the garbage, didn't think a thing about it until now.... Now, I could really use a cig or 2, 3, 4. It's how I keep myself calm. This way I don't get angrier and angrier as the time passed.
Right now, I am thinking, "God. I hate him (not God, of course,) Every single freakin' week or every other week, I go through this routine. It makes me so damn mad! :mad: I realize he's an arrogant a-hole, who thinks I'll always be here waiting. Right now, I hate him, hate him, hate him........ and I am crying." Dang nam it.
As far as the quit goes, this does not detour me, this will not make me cave, this will only make me stronger...... hate, hate, hate... it's spewing from my guts!
Just writing this to get my frustration and hate out.... I don't hate people, in fact, there are very few, whom I even dislike. I needed to write this to pass the time, instead of smoking.
Now, I'll go lay on the couch and cover myself with an blanket... Maybe, I won't answer the dang door when it rings.
Thanks for letting me vent,
Zany
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/12/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 3
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 154
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $19.5
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5
