DJ,
I don't know how I would label my upbringing in terms of having a negative or positive outlook on things. However, I do know that everyone used to tease me at work about thinking everything would be okay. That my cup was always full not just half-full. They would post jokes and one person complaining and one saying, "well, at least we ...." and they'd write my name above the person that came up with something positive out of the most negative thing.
I wish I had that back! I don't think I view my glass as being half-empty now. I can't find the freaking glass. lol If I could only remember where I put it.
I am not trying to make light of the issue. I am just saying that my outlook changed from an overly optomistic outlook to one that is neutral at best. I think that what I've learned about the depression explains that. I don't like it. I am retired now and not in school so I can take more time to make a conscious effort to be more positive.
That's something that I think I've not read on here (remember I can't find my glass either, so maybe it is on here). But not being depressed is a lot of hard work. It is a conscious effort, it takes time, concentration, and perserverance. With brain chemicals gone awry, it feels like fighting a losing battle. It is very time consuming to work on these things - thinking positiviely, not worrying, dealing with anxiety, negative core beliefs, etc. They require us to use the very mind that has quit functioning as it once did. It can be exhausting to have to spend so much time working on these things and then if one has to make a "public appearance" and put on a happy face, no wonder I go home and go to bed. If you are combating depression, having a relationship, working, going to school, then I can see where one might get a little negative. It's one more thing to add to your list of things to do.
I don't know if this helped or not. It depresses me just reading it and thinking about all the effort that I put forth today to stay out of bed and then gave in for a couple of hours. I was 75% successful though adding my sleep time in there.
I don't know if I am making any sense or not. I'm going to bed , it's past my bedtime.
