Hi Ashley,

Thank you for your interesting inputs. I would be interested in the radical acceptance theory and would be grateful if you could share more information about it.

I guess I did not have specific goals to achieve that I failed about, I guess it is just something like a shock about things that can suddenly go so wrong without any concious contributions by me.

I may be too sensitive to life's changes, especially to bad changes. It loos like as if I would be living in a dream world, and everytime something bad happens, I first get a shock about what just happened, and can't seem to move on with the bad change constructively but need quite much time to just digest that this just happened to me. Not sure why or where these feelings come from. Sounds like as if I was a child, seems to me.

So if you could share some more information about the radical acceptance concept as well as about the mindful gratitude, that would be highly appreciated and I thank you for that in advance.

Hi Ashley,

just wondering if you still think that there is some more material about the radical acceptance concept and about the mindful gratitude concept? Is this something you can really share, is it somewhere on this website?

thank you very much in advance if that works.

perth

Hi Perth,

That is very interesting. I think not meeting our life expectations can cause sadness and regret. I could see how the IDS may lead people to just want to give up. This is why it is so important to ensure our thinking is healthy - so that we can have a fulfilling life regardless of the goals we have achieved. In addition to the Depression program I think understanding the concept of Radical Acceptance might be helpful to you. When we Radically Accept something we just accept our reality for what it is. So, instead of being angry or upset about our situations we choose to accept it and focus on moving forward instead of focusing on how unfair, unjust or crappy the situation is. If you find this concept interesting and would like more information, let me know and I will share some articles with you.

Also, the concept of mindful gratitude might be helpful to you. Choosing to focus on what we are grateful for has been proven to improve mood. For example, perhaps you particularly enjoyed your coffee today, or maybe you had a very warm chat with a co-worker that you enjoyed or perhaps the sun was shining especially beautiful today. Whatever you find, make note of what you are grateful for. To start, try to write down or be mindful of at least three things you are grateful for each day. This change in perspective will allow you to focus on things you do have as opposed to what you do not have. Let's be honest, we all could always want more, but what do we already have that is great?

Thanks for posting,

Ashley

Hi,

Thank you so much for your understanding, and for all your words you wrote down..

I wrote so little but you understood them so right..

Yes, I am also very thankful for this program, and for the community. Trying my best to keep up with the available information and tools.

What is the reason for you to feel a "loser"?

Hi Ashley,

thank you for your reply!

I have done some reading and something related to IDS caught my attention.

Wondering now, if depression can come from a disconnect between own expectations of life and the actual life.

Involuntary defeat. When you no longer fight for a better life. "Better" in your own expectations.

What do you think?

Hi.

I feel like a loser a lot too. especially when work is stressful. I hate my job too and it can be so hard to not hate everything this time of year. I have found this program is helping me make sense of some things.

My heart is with you when it comes to all the health worries. I worry a lot too and it has caused way too many sleepless nights. I know I really need to get control of it because it is interferring with my quality of life. I am glad there is a place like this where other people are going through similar things.

I wish I could offer some great advice to make you feel better. I guess I am replying just so you know I hear you and can relate

Hi Perth,

I am sorry to read how you are feeling. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now. Worrying about the health of our loved ones is extremely stressful. It is normal to feel a bit overwhelmed and lost when dealing with illness and health Issues. Having negative feelings sometimes about difficult things in our lives is healthy. However, blaming yourself is not helpful and I think it is incorrect. You are not to blame for other people's health issues. You are not a loser. It sounds like the stress of everything has triggered some thoughts and feelings that are difficult to control and these may be colouring how you see everything. It is great that you are looking for help. You can start to feel better. There are a number of things you can do. You can work on the program here and post here - The program can help you to ensure you are thinking the healthiest way possible, so you can tackle these tough issues in the most constructive way. You may also want to consider Therapy and/or speaking to your Doctor. I think it is amazing you are trying to find a way out of these dark feelings. You are a resilient person and you will get through these difficult times a stronger person; you are already taking some important steps forward, keep going. We will be here every step of the way.

I am sure there are many people in this group who can really identify with what you are going through. You are not in this alone.

Post more soon,

Ashley

Hi

i just dont know what I should think in order to feel better. I feel so lost.

When I was a child, I was good at everything and the world was there to discover and make good decisions.

Now I feel I ended up as a loser.

nothing looks good in my life at the moment.

My work is making me depressed.

My mother became very ill years ago and it is worse and worse now. Physically and mentally. I miss her so much.

And I am now also worried about the health of my husband. He has pain and other symptoms to worry over.

I am so so afraid, that I caused all these health issues in my loved ones.

I dont know what to think, dont know how to be positive...

my husband needs encouragement, but all I have is worry.

I cry all day.. feel worthless and powerless..

what shall I do?

any help out there?