We decided to stay on the same theme as last weeks editorial. The
following is taken from the Helping Fellow Members article that is found
on the forum homepage:
The support group should be an empowering and positive
environment; using positive language helps create a positive atmosphere.
Sometimes it can be difficult to remain positive, especially when
members, and possibly you, are going through a difficult time. It is not
always possible to put a positive spin on a situation; however, there
are skills that can be applied that can help you be more positive in
your posts.
Draw out the member’s strengths:
Recognize the member for the unique and capable individual that they
are. All human beings want to feel valued and sometimes the people who
need it the most get the least recognition. If you feel that a member is
kind, compassionate, strong, driven, articulate, poetic, or humourous,
etc. tell her/him and let that member know how you see her/him. Many
members may be starving for this sort of recognition and will respond
with increased confidence and possibly become more open to discussion.
That being said, it is important for the acknowledgement to be authentic
and not forced.
Reinforce to the member that they have the strength to achieve
their goals. Empower the member to recognize this strength. Empowerment
means to encourage the member to realize their own potential and their
innate ability to control their own future. Through empowerment we are
assisting members to gain the confidence, skills, resources and
motivation they need in order to take control of their lives. We want
the members to have the strength to follow their own unique values and
live a fulfilled and healthy life.
Use positive language:
It is easy to dwell on the negative; simply discussing the matter in a
different tone can help put things into perspective. For instance,
instead of saying:
"This is a terrible time for you." Say, "This is a challenging time for you."
"This was a difficult lesson for you to learn." Say, "This is a valuable lesson for you to learn."
"This will be hard to resolve." Say, "You will overcome this."
Reframe:
Also, try to positively reframe a situation to make members aware of the
good in a situation. Sometimes it can be difficult to see the good in a
situation when you are the one going through it. Point out to the
member the positives you see in their situation without minimizing how
they feel. For instance:
A member states: "I can’t seem to do anything right. Today my
partner was mad at me and when I tried to talk to them they just shut me
out. I feel so confused and frustrated." A possible response, "Good for
you for addressing the situation and trying to talk about it with your
partner. Your partner may not be ready to talk now, but you put yourself
out there and that shows you care and are willing to talk about it.
What do you think you could do to show your boyfriend that you are
willing to talk when he is ready?"
Staying positive can be difficult when you are not
feeling like yourself. How do you stay positive when interacting with
other members even when you are feeling negative?
Ashley, Health Educator