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15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sylvie, don't get out the violin, it's self inflicted.  But I don't have anyone to go on vacation with me.  I sent my son to Florida every year on Spring vacation in High School, College and Law School.  When he graduated from Law School, a bunch were going to Las Vegas, and yep, your right, there he went.  I have money to go on vacation.  Can name several spots I'd like to go.  Most of my friends are married, and are connected at the hip so to speak.  I don't mind going places by myself, but not a real vacation by myself.  I take mini-weekend trips occasionally (1-2x/year). 
 
Other things for me - hmmm, I spend time with my family and friends.  I babysit (that is awesome!) my granddaughter take her to the park, to see Elmo, or whatever!  I like to be on the computer, play games, chat with friends I've made over the last 4 years all over the world!  I like to read, but concentration not so good to do that.  I used to love to take bubble baths and read a book - bubble bathes for hours and hours on end, until I finished a book.  I don't like baths very much without a book.  I have a jacuzzi tub in my bedroom - it needs dusting lol.   I have upholstery and crafts that I like - but I don't do them much.  I need to clean my house!  I also do my tai chi, meditation, study CBT, and exercise.  I've thought about dating, but that is like alot of b***sh*t.  And as I've mentioned in other posts, my picker seems to be broken.  Just can't seem to pick someone that isn't an addict (co-dependent, yes, I am).  I like teaching classes and doing curriculum development so I sort of volunteer at my job.  That isn't my job, but I volunteer to do it when the opportunity presents itself at work.  I do it at home work at my own pace and take pride in the outcome (they like it to).  What I'd like to do......research! 
 
Okay, I guess that gives you an idea.  

15 years ago 0 1288 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Goofy,
 
It's great that you can recognise that there are things to be greatful about, a great family, job, safety and health. What do you do for yourself that is pleasurable? Do you get to spend any time on yourself? When is the last time you had a vacation?
 
 
Sylvie, Bilingual Health Educator
15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I have been doing this depression thing for about 4 years now I think (don't make me concentrate, I ain't good at it).  Anyway, I have gone from being in the bed(and worse) to going back to work at a less than potential job.....however, I feel like the guy on the Peanuts cartoon with the cloud hanging over my head.  When I am not at work, with family/friends, shopping (ugh, I hate it), or paying bills, I am so depressed I just want to crawl back in bed.  It is unrealistic to think I can get through life "being entertained" or having my mind occupied on stuff constantly.  It really isn't a bunch of negative beliefs.  I like me - alot!  I know I have my faults- the human element.  I don't expect everyone to like me or even want to be around me, heck, there are people I feel that way about.  But I still respect others and expect (demand) to be treated with respect.  I have a great son and his family, a nice house, a good family, comfortable with finances, a great dog, a good job with great bosses, understanding environment, family support, a decent vehicle, toys, hobbies, etc.  Why do I have this looming cloud and how can I get rid of it....am I just impatient?  The worst depression I felt 10, the best (0 +4 years ago), I rate myself consistently 7,8,9....I feel as if I am just on the verge though I have successes.  Will I ever get to a 1 or 2 or heck I'd take a 5!!!!!  Oh, I know it's just 6 o'clock but I'm gonna crawl into bed.  I seem to do this everynight when I get home.  Though I feel good about having made it through the day successfully! 
 
Oh, I may be just rambling, but it really does't make sense.  I'm usually considered a person with a glass half full - I know this may not sound like it.  


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