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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

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2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

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2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

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2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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is happiness possible


19 years ago 0 57 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi, This is an intriquing question isn't it. I think I am most happy when I am least self=conscious...NOT thinking really at all about myself or whether or not I am happy. I think being as totally involved in the present as we can be makes for contentment at least. The trick is finding something absorbing. I think we are meant to be more like the other animals around us ie. not projecting out into the future or regretting the past but throughly involved in the present moment. Easy to say that is for sure but maybe a worthwhile goal. I also find myself happiest when I am interacting with people I enjoy and who like me. We are all communal animals to a large degree and we feel it when we allow ourselves to become too isolated. Trisha
19 years ago 0 7 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I agree with me about paying attention to ourselves. I am usually really good with giving others advice. That is what people tell me, it so easy to be objective about another's problem. If we could only take our own advice. I can also relate to your feelings about obtaining happiness through doing for others. That is one reason I feel so alone, it seems like if I'm not doing for, or behaving as another needs me to, then they really have no time for me. I used to tell one of my therapists what I really need was a friend like me. The appointment I have today is with a man, never been in therapy with a man. Wonder (don't be insulted Bob47) if I'll be able to relate to him. Although, the closest person ever in my life was my Dad, maybe I will be pleasantly surprised. I do you think you have hit the proverbial nail on the head, with being truly happy coming from within. If we can't be happy, and content within, then without suffers too!
19 years ago 0 16 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Crusher, you mention a sense of peace with yourself and your surroundings. I think that might be what happy is, kind of what I mean when I say to be happy from the inside out. Yes, a lofty goal indeed. It seems to me though that you have succeeded in a lot. You are here and you are seeking help, don't forget that. I realize that if someone said that to me, I'd roll my eyes and say whatever--but it is true. One thing that might come out of me writing on here, I might pay attention to what I'm saying and apply it to myself too, what a bonus that would be. That's the hardest thing to do.
19 years ago 0 16 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I think that happiness is supposed to come from within, and I think that is kind of what you are saying too. That is what I've never experienced. I've had "moments of being happy" because of something that happens like completing a project at work or something, but without something external like that it doesn't seem possible. Then when the moment is over, I'm right back in the same place of being down and feeling empty. I like your point about happiness can come from helping people, and I think you are right. However, in my experience most of the people in my life have expected things from me and I've always felt obligated and that I have no choice but to do what they want. This lack of choice and feelings of obligations have made me very resentful in a lot of ways and then in turn guilty about being resentful. My therapist talks about setting boundaries and that doing what I want is okay, but then that feels like I'm being selfish and then again guilty about that. Feels like I can't win no matter what I do. I guess is see it as being happy from the inside out rather than a temporary resonse to something that happens. Does that make sense? Seems so unreachable most of the time.
19 years ago 0 7 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I don't think I've ever experienced any consistent type of happiness. I can remember happy moments, but nothing past a moment or two. Something always spoils the feeling. Nor do I think I know what contentment is. I am not shooting for happy, way to lofty of a goal. Just a sense of peace with myself and my surroundings. Being able to do the normal everyday things without the black cloud following me, that is what I am attempting to find. Without success, but then again I'm not sure I've ever succeeded in anything either.
19 years ago 0 283 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
tanya i have another idea. happiness is getting positive reactions from other people. you can look for ways to help people, to compliment them, to support them. this i think makes the giver some good positive feelings. bob
19 years ago 0 283 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
tanya happiness is smiles and laughter....that may seem somewhat of a trite cliche, but what it means is that this is a spontaneous reaction. you are absorbed in what you are doing. You become happy because you enjoy the journey, not necessarily because you reach your goal. I don't think that all of a sudden a person achieves something and then they are happy ever-after. that's what pops into my head at the moment. "what is happiness?" is an excellent question, i think. you have poked and pervoked my cerebal cells. i'll try to come up with something profound or whatever. :) bob
19 years ago 0 16 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I used to think that being happy was the lack of sadness and hurt, in other words being able to ignore my feelings and feel nothing. I've begun to see that is not what being happy is all about. However, I don't know that I've ever been happy. So, how does one achieve something if you don't know what it looks or feels like? Sometimes I even think that I have a misconception of what happiness is, and that what I feel like is normal and just how it is. I don't really believe that, but is happiness a realistic goal for someone who suffers from depression or should I be satisfied with feeling nothing?

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