Does anyone else have difficulty letting go of anger? I'm angry with my brother for not helping me out with a small favour, and I am still stewing about it 3 months later. Granted, he had no idea how difficult it was for me to ask for help, and the only reason that I did was that my mother was pushing me to come out with her -- she'd bought us tickets to the theatre. He lives close by, so I asked if he could pick my daughter up from her evening lesson and drop her off at home. 10-15 minutes it would have taken him, and he said no. Not even the sensitivity to at least say he had another commitment, just no.
I don't even know if I'm right in being angry with him. It goes completely against my values to not help someone out if I can, especially family. He has a principle against babysitting anyone else's children -- he and my sister-in-law have 2 boys of their own who are quite a handful. I may not agree with his principles, and he may not support my values -- I just wish that I could let it go at that.
This isn't the only situation that I'm stewing about. I don't get angry easily, but this is number 4 over the past 5 or 6 years that I just don't seem to be able to release. All situations where I feel unfairly treated, and where there is nothing that I can reasonably do about it. I could talk to my brother, yes, but at the moment, I'm afraid that I'll cry and then he'll just dismiss me for over-reacting. (I haven't told my brothers about my depression. I've told my mother and my sister, and even they are having difficulty understanding why I can't just perk up and get on with things. My brothers would never understand, and would think less of me for being weak-willed.)
I'm trying to learn to be more assertive so that I can handle future situations better, but in the meantime, I hate this ruminating resentment and bitterness. And is it assertiveness that I need for this? Or am I truly blowing things out of proportion?
Confused
Confused
