I think that I first began to suffer from Depression the day that I found my 2 month old Son dead of SIDS when I was 16 years old. I am 43yrs old now, and have only had a couple of years where I was free from the curse of this illness. I also have found that Medication isn't particularly helpful, although the Venlafaxine that I am on at present does seem to help a little.
From my perspective, it seems that I have never had the time or right opportunity to deal with my Depression. I had another child at 18, got married at 27, and then had four more children. My husband physically, mentally, and emotionally abused me, and his final blow to me was when he left me for a younger woman. That happened a couple of weeks before Christmas (2006), and since then I have had to cope with the kids alone, for he has virtually abandoned them and moved to the other end of the country. I am now at a place where I don't think I can cope with any of it anymore, and am seriously considering giving care of my children to CYFS (child welfare here in New Zealand).
Dear God, I hope this course can help me find a way out of this awful darkness............