We decided to stay on the same theme as a recent editorial.  The following is taken from the Helping Fellow Members article that is found on the forum homepage:

  The support group should be an empowering and positive environment; using positive language helps create a positive atmosphere. Sometimes it can be difficult to remain positive, especially when members, and possibly you, are going through a difficult time. It is not always possible to put a positive spin on a situation; however, there are skills that can be applied that can help you be more positive in your posts.

  Draw out the member’s strengths:

 Recognize the member for the unique and capable individual that they are. All human beings want to feel valued and sometimes the people who need it the most get the least recognition. If you feel that a member is kind, compassionate, strong, driven, articulate, poetic, or humorous, etc. tell her/him and let that member know how you see her/him. Many members may be starving for this sort of recognition and will respond with increased confidence and possibly become more open to discussion. That being said, it is important for the acknowledgement to be authentic and not forced.

 Reinforce to the member that they have the strength to achieve their goals. Empower the member to recognize this strength. Empowerment means to encourage the member to realize their own potential and their innate ability to control their own future. Through empowerment we are assisting members to gain the confidence, skills, resources and motivation they need in order to take control of their lives. We want the members to have the strength to follow their own unique values and live a fulfilled and healthy life.

  Use positive language:

 It is easy to dwell on the negative; simply discussing the matter in a different tone can help put things into perspective. For instance, instead of saying:

    "This is a terrible time for you." Say, "This is a challenging time for you."

    "This was a difficult lesson for you to learn." Say, "This is a valuable lesson for you to learn."

    "This will be hard to resolve." Say, "You will overcome this."

Reframe:

 Also, try to positively reframe a situation to make members aware of the good in a situation. Sometimes it can be difficult to see the good in a situation when you are the one going through it. Point out to the member the positives you see in their situation without minimizing how they feel. For instance:

     A member states: "I can’t seem to do anything right. Today my partner was mad at me and when I tried to talk to them they just shut me out. I feel so confused and frustrated." A possible response, "Good for you for addressing the situation and trying to talk about it with your partner. Your partner may not be ready to talk now, but you put yourself out there and that shows you care and are willing to talk about it. What do you think you could do to show your boyfriend that you are willing to talk when he is ready?"

Staying positive can be difficult when you are not feeling like yourself.  How do you stay positive when interacting with other members even when you are feeling negative?