Yes, I enjoy the everyday housework tasks - unless I have to go out and I'm rushing. I like raking outside too and doing yard work. I like working with my hands so anything which keeps me busy in that way is a great distraction but also a comfort. There is comfort in routine.
I don't like talk shows either, they are sometimes very annoying unless it is on a subject I want to learn.
I understand what you mean Ashley, about being one's own best friend. I am rarely lonely. I'm perfectly happy to be on my own, always something to do. However, I do know I need to get out and about too, have that balance in my life. I have a dog, so that helps me get out walking. Perhaps it is about being comfortable with oneself, and liking oneself, accepting oneself warts and all.
This is presuming they are menial tasks because you don't like them. On the other hand I will do dishes because they don't bother me. But my best way to get rid of excess anxiety that is working its way up to panic is to put a block of wood in my lathe and just turn it, not really making anything just there for the distraction. It takes about an hour. But I like to do this. Doing something you don't like will certainly make anxiety worse for you. I like weeding my garden or raking leaves and a lot of considered menial tasks so instead they are comfort for me instead of stress builders. What I do not do well with is social situations or talk shows, but music is okay. But then I am a very different person and I know it and I still like me even though.
Well for one, the support group is an amazing place to find positive support. Here you are never alone.
Also, remember Davit's post on looking yourself in the mirror and saying positive affirmations? Well I tend to take this a step further. Now don't laugh when I say this but I like to think of myself as one of my best friends. I know it sounds a little cheesy but it can actually be quite comforting in a way. In your life you will always have yourself, to celebrate with, cry with, relax with, plan with, etc. You are never really alone as you have yourself to watch your back. Sometimes when things get really hard I look myself in the mirror (again, don't laugh) and say we can do this, we are in this together. I know there are always new and interesting people around the corner to meet but I also know I do not really need anyone as I have myself.
If you were able to have this type of relationship with yourself how would it benefit you?
Ashley, Health Educator
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go.
~Dr. Seuss
I am glad you got that I was being a bit humourous there about the dishes. ! It was a funny image in my mind when i read it.
On a more serious note, can we explore what to do when no support people are available to help during a panic attack? I keep reading (and have been told by every well meaning counsellor i've had) to "get friends" and "get support from friends". but i've struggled to keep friends in my life long enogh to trust them with the fact i struggle with anxiety. i've not had a friend help me thorough an attack for over 16 years. family members neither. I end up worrying i won't be able to complete the program because having supportive people is integral to success.
I trust i will eventually have good friends again but right now, there is no one i am close enough with to ask for the hug and consolation and reassurance i need during the fear and peak of the attack. My thoughts during an attack (predictably) are "i'm all alone" "i'll never get through this without support" "i'll never have supportive people in my life". you cna see how that cycle makes things worse.
Thoughts? creative solutions to replace a friend support? stuffed animals? (i'm trying to inject some humour here!) but whatever might work.
If you can find a friend to help you with dishes, that would be great! I am not so lucky as to have that right now.
I find that I use these tasks to bring me back to the present, and focus on them - using mindfulness I guess. This has worked for me so I thought I would mention it. Like with doing the dishes, I pay attention to how the water feels, the soap bubbles, looking at it as i am rinsing each dish, putting it away, and then listening to whats going on around me - the sounds of traffic going by, my own breathing etc... I've used it also to check in wiht my body , see how my stomach feels, lower back, neck, all the places i might feel tightness and not notice.
That may not work for everyone or for each menial task but I have found it works for me most of the time since i started doing it about 2 months ago. ANyone else do this sort of "mindful toilet scrubbing"? :)
Do not take on menial or routine tasks too regularly, such as vacuuming, raking or washing dishes. These tasks can make your mind wander back to your negative thoughts. If you are doing such tasks, make sure that you have a friend to perform them with, or music to listen to so that you can keep your mind occupied and off your state.
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