Every one has a bad day once in a while, even my therapist who I just got off the phone with. It can be so hard to think positive when the world is falling down around you. But you know it's not permanent, you can pick up again and keep going even if some times like today it is a challenge. One thing I have noticed is that like panic it is best to let it happen and then forget it. And it is really good to have someone to talk to, because the negative thoughts can build if you let them, even in some one such as me who thinks he has this thing licked. And I do have it beat. I just have a small problem that I let get big. I have infection still from my broken leg and something in oral antibiotics is a major depressant for me. I will be Ok if I can have a PIC line put in and do it by IV. So I will have a few days where I have to watch myself, and if I have to use medication for a short time I will. I do want to help people and part of that is because it helps me. How can I have negative thoughts while telling others not to.
On the subject of depressants, most people only think of coffee and alcohol but they forget about such things as cold medications and any thing else that changes how your body or mood feels. And the hidden things are the hardest to deal with.
I have never wanted to die because I was depressed. But I have been in such pain for a long enough time that I just wanted it to end. Even Hydromorphone will not touch the pain from a compressed nerve in the spine. Only time or surgery can fix it. I was lucky not to need surgery but time plays havoc on the nerves. We all have an inner strength that we just have to learn to tap. And it is easiest to tap if you are doing it to help some one else.
No ones life is without a bit of anxiety, just that some people have a more positive way of dealing with it.
Ladybird, you are a strong person and your strength is that you care, and caring people will always have to struggle. But it is worth it. And for what it is worth I know all about becoming more reclusive. I am trying to find more time to be social even if it means getting a little behind in other things. I had a hard time accepting help till I realized that it made the people helping happy to help. I try to help them back as much as possible and I am enjoying the social side of it.
A Davit in a far better mood.
Thank you for listening.
