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The problem with avoidance 2


14 years ago 0 122 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
 
 
 
                 Hi Lance,
 
  First I want to tell you how impressed I am that you have been able to accomplish so much in your life
with running your own business and also raising a family, we all know how hard that can be. so be proud of yourself.
That being said sometimes we don"t listen to our bodies when it tells us we need to slow down we just keep
going  ( 60 & 70 hours a week) and push the thoughts aside, I think that after awhile the body justs lets us know
if we won't listen it will make us listen( hence panic attacks).  You said that you just want your old life back I
use to tell myself the same thing, I thought that if I could be like my old self that everything would be ok, But one day
I realized that that was how I got here in the first place and that I needed to change the way I looked at things.
I too over the years have owned my own business and helped take care of sick family members, and helped
raise a daughter. But at the same time I feel like I haven't done enough and that if I'm not working or contributing
something that I am some how failing my family. I now tell myself that if I take things one step at a time and work
on myself  that I can make myself better than I was before! You are a strong person lance, you have already proven
that by all that you have done you just have to take it one step at a time and regain your confidence and learn
new tools to help you deal with life's issues in a better way. one step always leads to another. Driving is
a big issue for me also, it is hard but I keep trying if I get over whelmed I work on something else and then go back to it.
work on the program and give yourself the time to change. we are all here for you.
 
 
   sweatbee
14 years ago 0 183 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for the reply, unfortunately no one I'm staying with has a car and mine at my sisters is 30 miles away, so I need to work on that. My imediate family wants me to get better but until, they want nothing to do with me. This has been going on for 8 yrs or so now and its worn them out.Im in a little contact with them but me being like this has been a burden. Im working with a Doctor, a Pdoc and a MH therapist as well as doing stiuff like this, reading and trying all I can.
14 years ago 0 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hiya, Im not sure on how driving other peoples cars work (i dont drive), if you have to be insured on them ect but is there no way a friend would let you drive his/her car with them in it to get you used to driving again and to practise doing it, that way you wouldnt have to spend money on your car (if you dont have to pay for anything to use a friends car)that you have not got untell you feel comfertable enough to start using your car again, you really need to start driving again or you wont know how it feels and wont be able to learn to unlearn the bad thinking habits, i know its easier said than done, ive been agoraphobic for 7yrs and im just starting to get out again now because im pregnant, i have no idea why thats helped. Try and just think of your kids when you go out, take pictures of them with you when you are doing something that scares you, my "safe" things when i go out are.. 1. A book that i have wrote in, its mainly things out of the toolbox on here and little bits of info i have found on other sites. 2.My mobile phone, knowing i can ring people if needed or occupy my mind with writing a text message out, i also use my mobile phone for the music on there, i carry my headphones every were with me to listen to the music. 3. a bottle of cold water, i dont go anywere without one. 4. someone i feel safe with.
these things help me when i get out, i know i need to cut down on them eventually but i think if something is helping for now then its doing me no harm, just making me better and i think maybe you should try a few things out see if you can find something that will help you..its a awfull feeling when your life seems to be slipping away from you and you cant do anything, im sorry that you alone also, hopefully you can get intouch with family and friends and ask for help, i hope this made some sort of sence for you, im not to good at writing things out...good luck zoe x
14 years ago 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lance,
 
We are here with you and we support you. I really hope that you do find answers here that will help, and can find a way to get back that "life". It must be so tough to be away from your family and you must miss them greatly.
 


Samantha, Health Educator
14 years ago 0 183 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I think someone to talk to as i'm basically alone. My family had enough of what I've been dealing with and I'm not with them. This has been going on for 7 yrs. Also I may find answers here that will help. I just want a life again and I miss my kids a lot.
14 years ago 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Well you know that we are always here to listen and support you to live your life with the absence of fear.
People that have gone or are going through similar experiences are listening to you and can relate.
In what ways, if any, does posting on the forum provide you with comfort?
 

Samantha, Health Educator
14 years ago 0 183 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thats the tough part, material I've been given says just that, but I worry, even about nothing. Im always on edge, afraid of the unknown I guess. I just dont get it.
14 years ago 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Lance,
 
Below are ten questions you may find helpful in challenging your anxious thoughts:
The following ten questions will help you to challenge any anxious thoughts. When you have an anxious thought, answer some of these 10 questions:
1. Is it "true"?
2. How do I know it’s true?
3. Is it 100% true? (remember something that is 75% or 99% true is  
    not 100% true)
4. What's the evidence for it being true?
5. What’s the evidence against it being true?
6. Has it ever happened before?
7. What's different now?
8. If it were true, how bad would it really be?
9. What's the worst thing that could happen?
10. If the worst thing happened, how bad would it really be?


Please feel free to add any tips or strategies you find helpful when trying to challenge your anxious thoughts.

 

 

Samantha, Health Educator
14 years ago 0 183 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Anxiety and depression have totally ruined my life. I have a nice car, but its not where I'm at since I'm afraid to drive. The pdoc suggested practicing on side streets, but as my life has come crashing down due to a lot of these issues, I dont have a job and until I do I'm not carrying insurance on my car, so do I pay for insurance I dont have an income for to practice? It's all become a viscious cycle and I'm really stuck. The bus is no fum.
14 years ago 0 11213 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Members,
When we avoid things due to anxiety, we miss out. As you probably already know, escaping the situation you find yourself in when you have anxiety can lead to problems.
  • Problem 3: The more you avoid, the less you’re able to lead a full, happy and productive life. As a result of escaping and avoiding, you don’t get to do a lot of things other people get to enjoy such as, going out with friends, driving, going to a movie or going away of vacation.
  • Problem 4: When people aren’t able to enjoy life because of avoidance, they beat themselves up. People with panic or anxiety usually say escaping makes them feel better in the short-term but worse in the long-term. The end result is negative thoughts about themselves, the world and the future. This can lead to depression.
How has anxiety impacted your life?
 
Ashley, Health Educator

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