I have become sensitized yet again over my health. My father is in the hospital with pneumonia, and recently had a major stroke and some tia's since, he is battling leukemia, and last year was had throat cancer with chemo, etc, and ended up in the hospital with MRSA pneumonia due to his immune system being very weakened. Years ago, when my panic started (18 yrs ago), my only hereditary causes could be from my maternal grandmother, and my father, whom stated years before that (we are talking about a 30 yr time period till now) that while driving for business got the numbing arm feeling, breaking out in a sweat, chest tightness,etc and drove straight to the doctor who performed an EKG, no heart attack, etc. and stated he had an anxiety attack. Note-he is a drinker and has been his whole life. He would get the same feeling each time he approached this certain exit, but could get through it. Yesterday when I called to check on him (I'm agoraphobic and can not make this ride/drive to see him in another city), my step-mother told me, his MRI showed some new tia's but one "old" stroke, and brought up this event he had 30 years ago as the only thing they can think of as the cause. I'm frightened, since I get or have had this with my panic for 18 years, now I'm in this "have I had a stroke years ago, many since?" stage. The only thing I'm trying to rationalize, is I know when he had this event, he did not suffer any paralysis, eye vision, speech, gait associated with it being a stroke like he is having now. Would a stroke or tia show up 30 years later on a MRI that was so mild in nature or perhaps, and I would rather like to think it was an anxiety attack he had back then. I'm trying to justify that the one they are seeing would be more recent , say within last 5 yrs or so, or he would have shown major residual effects. I'm on disability for my PD with agoraphobia, and getting an MRI for myself would be out of pocket, as it wouldn't be warranted with lack of symptoms. Throughout my years of PD, besides blood work and cardiologist, EKG's, holter monitor, I have never had a CAT scan nor MRI, but I can't shake these thoughts from my head. Can anyone suggest a way to rationalize these dreaded thoughts, challenge them? It has plagued me since hanging up the phone yesterday.
