Thank you for the advice. Ideally if I could I would be able to help watch the grandkids so the two of our children could get more the 2 to 4 hours sleep a day. They have to work very hard to make ends meet these days. I can not because I live to far away. So you are right all I can do for now is lend a caring ear. I also think I need some time to relax and not be on duty and I have asked my partner to shut his cell phone off while we are trying to relax. Like when we are walking at the zoo or out to dinner etc... He has agreed that it is a problem and said he will shut off the phone when we are out trying to relax. I have made up my mind that the phone continues to be a problem than I am going to start going for my walks by myself that way I can relax and enjoy them...I always turn my phone off while I am out doing something leisurely. I think we all need some time off duty just to decompress and unwind a little. I am definitely going to go over the session on worry again like you suggested and try to take care of myself better. I know this is what my son wants me to do. He would like to have me around to call and talk to on phone for a few years still.....Anyway I want to thank you again Ashley for caring, listening, responding and helping me work through this.....I am starting to feel like I can get a handle on this now....
Yes, this is a tough situation. As I am sure any parent can tell you it is almost impossible to not worry about your kids. I am sure it makes it even harder because you live to far away. You will probably never come to a place where you do not worry about your kids at all and that is probably a good thing. The thing is when worry is interfering with your life and your health this gets to be a problem. Review the section on worry for one. Also, challenge some belief you have. What you are offering to your children, a listening ear, is probably the most important thing you can do. In most cases this is the only thing you can and even should do. I am sure your children are very capable individuals who probably value your help but in most cases do not absolutely need your help. What they do need though is for you to take care of yourself. Ideally, how would you want to handle problems your kids may have?
I did mention that I have some anxiety issues to my doctor when I saw him last. He didn't say anything. He did feel I need to be on blood pressure meds and so we started me on bp meds. I think that some doctors are not really comfortable talking about anxiety...I do think that the time has come for me to spend some real time seriously doing the relaxation exercises here on the site. I think this could really help me. Maybe this will help me defuse my alarm system before it gets out of control.
As for negative core beliefs. I have a fear that if I am not able to answer the phone or a email right away from the kids and they need us for support something bad might happen. We worry about all the stress they are under and feel that there is nothing we can do to help other than to lend a listening ear when they want to talk. We all live very far away for each other so we can not help each other in person. We really can not save them or make it all better. It is out of our control...Which makes us feel very helpless in the situation.... In the past we have always been able to help our families in person because we all lived very close to each other. In todays world it is much much different.... We can not just go to them and help them out. We can not lighten their load by watching the grandkids or anything like that. They have it much harder than we did in this and many other respects. It is so hard not being able to help them more. Which leads to lots of worry and anxiety.....I do not think there are any easy answers here.
First of all, I can't believe how you so casually say you were walking around at the zoo. Isn't that an achievement right there? Wow, I can't believe how much progress you have made!
Anyways, back to your question. I would talk to your doctor about anxiety and your blood pressure. He/she might be able to offer some great advice.
In regards to helping this. What are some negative core beliefs you can challenge here. What is going through your mind while you are feeling anxious?
My panic cycle seems to be caused by my radar going off like a alarm in fire station. When ever I think someone is having some kind of trouble and I can't help them I seem to go into a hyper state and my blood pressure goes up like yesterday a email come in from one of the kids or Sunday my partner cell phone goes off while we are walking at the zoo and my inner alarm goes off and I started to panic and worry and worked myself up into a bad state with my BP jumping up to 172/90. I felt dizzy and had vertigo already when I woke up and the email seems to put me through the roof. I was standing in the kitchen and felt like I was going to pass out after reading the email and just thought I was tired and maybe my bp was low, so I decided to take my bp. I was shocked to find out it was so high. I had not taken my bp meds for 3 days thinking I could go off of them. I guess this was a bad idea. So I am taking my meds again and my bp is ok this morning.
I have also decided to stay home for the holidays instead of going camping out in the middle of no where where their is no cell phone service just in case I need to call 911 and get to a hospital... One thing I know for sure is that I need to find a way to turn my radar off before it get out of control and kills me. Does anyone else have this problem with there radar going off?
Does anyone have a suggestions on how to get a handle on this?
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