I have been there. You might say to hell and back and the trip was no fun. Some times the memory bothers me and all the time and all I could have been that is lost pisses me off. But it is over and I'm fine now and picking up the pieces. Some of those pieces don't fit together anymore. I function and can do anything within my physical limit. I'm not dependent on medication but do have valium which I only use as a muscle relaxant when my blood pressure gets too high. I am living in a high stress situation right now and coping quite well although I don't like it. It will pass. I will never revert to using medication to shop. There is no need. CBT saw to that. I love coffee but limit it to mornings. Simply because it keeps me awake. I seem to be very sensitive to it. Some of my triggers are still there, most have faded away. Those that are still there have a different affect. Concern, not worry or fear so they are harmless.
Coping skills are a necessary start to get instant relief but only CBT will make it lasting. I remember having had a year of panic attacks every night despite medication. I remember years of anxiety leading up to it. Physical trauma seems to have set the triggers in place pushing me from anxiety to major panic attacks lasting for hours. I remember four years of Ativan culminating in it not working any more and a year to get off it. I also remember six weeks in the psych ward with a badly infected broken leg. A voluntary stay because suicide was looking like the answer. Funny the people I talked to all said it seemed like the answer at the time. It isn't.
With some knowledge and understanding and some support Agoraphobia is curable. And with it's cure everything else falls into place. At least it did for me and a few others I still stay in contact with.
I am glad to have come across this site.. it is more solution focused which I have been looking for, some of the forums tend to focus more on the problem.
I have had 2 single episode panic attacks in early 20's which I quickly forgot about and got on with my day..But 5 years ago I had what I could only describe as 'nervous breakdown' some smaller symptoms for a few days, a big panic attack at work which I left on the spot and never returned to. For 2 weeks I was having panic everywhere, in stores,driving. I felt like I couldn't swallow, had trouble taking breaths and had naseau for a week straight. Almost overnight I turned agoraphobic. I have never been the same since. Driving is ok for me, but everything else is not really and I can only do a proper relaxed grocery shopping(in a smaller store) on clonazepam..I want (and need) to get back into life now, I need to work and be able to commute and take transit. I just cannot live like this anymore. I am very scared to stay in an exposure and have a voice telling me that I can't do it, but I am determined to at least try.
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