The reason I did not write you right back yesterday was because I could not get the internet up. It kept saying "webpage unavailable" we have a old computer and that seems to happen frequently lately, my son got it up and running this morning.
I don't think you are being "hard" on me Davit, I think you want me to feel and get better, you are more "tough love" and I do not say that in a bad way, you have never been annoying to me, I know you and all the members want to help me, sometimes the truth is hard too hear but I guess at times it needs to be said, right now I guess I am very fragile, I use to be tough and independent and this is so hard because I feel I become clingly and dependent which is hard for me to grasp, Sunny and You and Hugs and all the rest of the members have really embraced me, and the moderators of course, kindness compassion and advice that has helped me so much, and reading the program, I don't feel so alone and isolated as I try so hard to recover.
I am SO sorry about you're friend who died Davit, that is terrible, I understand what you mean by life is short, and I try to remember that saying when I find myself constantly worrying about things, going through life scared to death is NO way to live and I feel I have wasted so much time, I am a little better but I know I have a ways to go yet, I just hope to keep going up and not back down, like you this started with a true physical illness, when you mentioned you're staph infections, mine started like that too, not staph, but other things, when my health broke down, I broke down, but I am ready to get better.
My grandmother had severe arthritis, it runs in my family, so I feel for you, but you seem to really do well, the home projects you describe take a lot of work and energy I know, my friend also has arthritis and parkinson's so I have seen the pain it can cause. I will try to write one positive thing a day from now on, that is a good idea, much better than being negative. My last post had to do with more women's problems so I know "thats not you're area,{ ha-ha} it just makes the symptoms worse. I am trying to work through it, again I am so sorry about you're friend. Thanks.