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Feeling a bit defeated

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 221

Hi m03,

Sounds like there have been a lot of positive changes!

CBT is a great therapy, and has been proven to be very effective for anxiety and panic. Continue to do the therapy and see your doctor. He can see the results of your therapy, which is really positive! After 6 weeks there lots of changes, so imagine all positive things that will take place in the next weeks.

Exercise is really important as well. It release chemicals called endorphins, which make your body feel good all over. Its very effective in helping to keep anxiety at bay.

Keep posting and letting us know how you're doing!

Helena, Health Educator

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Hi m03,

I'm so glad you're starting to feel better! That's great that you're having positive experiences with your therapist, and also that you opened up to your friend. It helps a lot to have a support network in place, from this online forum to your doctors to friends.

I also play hockey, and I find it a HUGE release of a lot of pent up emotion for me. Not only is the physical exercise great but it's a distraction and my mind always feels better afterwards, even if the body pays the price and I'm sore the next day!

Remember we're always here for you if you want to check back in. I hope you'll continue to post here on the forums!

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Hey all,

Sorry its taken so long to reply. Lots has been going on and I havent been online much. I have been working everyday for the past 2 weeks, and I even went back to playing ladies hockey last night after 6 weeks off. I am paying for it today though hahahahaha. Oh well. Anyways, I also have my second CBT appointment this afternoon. My first appointment was interesting. I really enjoyed it, and seemed to learn a lot. I told him all about my online support group and he was pleased to see what I had found some people to share my experiences with. It is very hard to find people to talk to, but I have taken your advice Teebs and opened up to a close friend at work and she has been really great about it. She went through post-partum depression after her second son, which is different then anxiety and panic attacks, but its still a challenge and that was her experience. So she can relate on a general level of just not feeling like yourself, etc. I have also been using a new strategy from my CBT therapist that is helping me stay even more positive. What he has asked me to do is to re-attribute and re-focus. So whenever I start feeling anxious over some thoughts...I am supposed to re-attribute my fear to anxiety and anxiety alone, which is false signals from my brain. And then I have to re-focus my thoughts on anything else for 5 minutes. This is normally very helpful, but there has been 1 or 2 times when I just cant re-focus. But overall, I think its helping. I have been feeling better and I think this has been helping me to stay positive the most Lovetrees. That, and seeing my doctor and he tells me he has been a really positive change in me and he can tell I am feeling better by the way I look and act now compared to 6 weeks ago. So, I'm hoping this keeps up!!!!

Thanks for your thoughts, posts, and encouraging words. I hope everyone else is doing well.

m03

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

Hi m03

Welcome. I've been using this site for going on 4 months now and reaping great rewards.

Something stuck out from your post here for me. You mentioned struggling to 'stay positive" and then you say you are tired at night and when you are stressed it gets worse. I just wanted to chime in - being tired is not the same thing as being negative or depressed. So I guess I"m curious as to how you define "staying positive" and if you are putting too much pressure on yourself.

It is a lot of work to do CBT - it is 'relearning' how to perceive the internal and the external events around us. Feeling tired is understandable. Having anxiety is tiring too. Concealing it from certain people is tiring too, or at least I find it tiring.

Give yourself a hug and some needed rest if you are tired.

wishing you the best,

trees

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Hi m03 -

I feel like I'm in a similar situation, where I had a big jump of progress and now I'm at a plateau. It's frustrating, but I know the road to recovery will contain some bumps, and I guess some slow patches too.

I've also got a supportive boyfriend and supportive parents but have found a real lack of understanding from some co-workers and other friends and acquaintances. It can be really hard for people to understand, but if you're able to open up a little bit you may be surprised at the responses. While I've probably lost a few friends (who were really just "fairweather friends" anyway), I have connected to a few people who either have gone through something similar or have expressed a more caring attitude than I expected. So often our society seems to encourage hiding emotional difficulties, so others may be hiding the same thing! I was definitely surprised at how many other people have had an anxiety attack of some sort.

Let us know how the CBT appointment goes! I'm glad it's coming at the perfect time for you.

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Hi Everyone,

Thanks again for all the replies and encouraging words. Like I said, its so nice to be able to hear from people who are going through, or who went through similar struggles. Only my family, boyfriend, and a couple good friends know about my anxiety issues. I have one really close friend who went thru a serious struggle with depression, but shes fine now, but other than that...I dont know anyone who deals with this. The problem is, I can't really tell anyone because of my profession. It is frowned upon in my field of work, which I personally think is disgusting because anxiety doesnt make me who I am, and thankfully I can realize that. Anyways, my family is wonderfully supportive, and my boyfriend remains positive as long as I do. Thats our deal. I'm just having a hard time right now being positive. When I get really anxious, I have really taken to box breathing, which makes me feel so calm and just nice on the inside. Its hard to explain, but I think you all can relate - you know when you find what it is that makes you relax. And when that doesnt work, I do have ativan, which I don't use that often because I am trying to control the attacks on my own. I feel like I am going in the right direction, but it seems to be coming slowly. I mean, I notice a huge difference from when I first started taking my meds almost a month ago. But there seemed to be a huge jump, which now is followed by a plateau. I can hold it together while I have to, but when I get home at night, I am exhausted and when I have stressful days, its even worse. I cant wait for my first CBT appointment tomorrow. Its coming at a really good time.

Anyways, thanks again for listening. I love hearing your comments and such, they mean a lot, and I value them very much.

Hope everyone else is doing well,

m03

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 221

Hi m03,

I know it can appear that people in your life are "normal", and that you want to feel that way as well. A lot of people, however, are dealing with emotional issues and may not show it. They may avoid expressing and displaying their emotions. If you feel comfortable, try talking to one of these people and express how you feel. As Dizzy has said, you may be surprise, as they may be able to lend support. Anxiety is common, so they may have dealt with it themselves or may have a family member who has dealt with.

If you're continuing to have trouble with your medication, please talk to your doctor. Keep having conversations with your doctor and going to see your therapist.

Let us know how your doing and know that you will get throught this!

Helena, Health Educator

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

m03

I have spent my whole entire life being stigmatized. Not all becuase of anxiety and panic attacks, after going through the relationship part of the tool box I realized it is there problem not mine. If they do not get it then thats there problem. I will tell you two things even if you know a person who has the same mood disorder that we have you still may not find understanding. The reason why is we all have different experiences with this problem. For example the head pressure I get that keeps me foggy all day drives me nuts where to you it may be a minor experience. You may suffer from some other sensation that bothers you more then it would bother me. Lastly I am not sure who you are talking about when you mention people in your daily life. I think you have to really consider who you tell about your situation it may do more harm then good. If they are just co-workers they may not need to know. Self induced expectations (of the people you are telling), produce self induced frustrations (in your self becuase you are not getting the reaction you want). On the other hand if you are receiving some work support while you go through this hard time in your life then it may be a good thing. The point is you must consider who you tell and what you want out of it if when you tell them, and are you going to get what you want from them. Even if you think that you should tell someone and think they will be helpful, it may not turn out that way. On the other hand some people can surprise you with support becuase maybe they have a family member going through the same thing. Finding one support person may be all that you need it depends on you I recommend you go through the relationships tool box it will help you determine what you want and from whom you will get it. Remember that support is a two way street that is why this site is unique in that just one person different perspective may be a key to one of your problems. If you use CBT and make an effort at it the set backs will effect less and less becuase once you have gone through one you know you can do it again.

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

m03

There is a possibility that it is the increase in celexa. I was taking it but had to switch to Trimipramine because I reacted badly to celexa the last time I tried it. In some people it causes anxiety for the first two weeks so it might possibly do the same with the increase. I can no longer take any SSRIs. But that is just me, but it doesn't mean it couldn't be you to. Anyway it is something to ask your doctor about.

Ashley is right, set backs are common, we all get them. Even when you are better you will still have a tendency to set back. The program will make you better but how often you still have to see a therapist will depend on what you get out of the program and how much of a tendency you have to reach for the negative. I have to admit that I still have not got everything so well buried with positive that I can't run smack into some thing negative. It takes time. I am doing very well but still have to fight for my freedom. It hasn't been long enough. But I believe and that is the main thing.

Here for you

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11215

Hi M03,

Set backs are common and actually part of the healing process. Try not to get discouraged. You are doing a lot of work and it can be frustrating when you are not seeing results. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Just keep doing what you are doing, working on the program and seeing your therapist. You will get through it.

We are here to listen and support you through this every step of the way!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

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Feeling a bit defeated