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Lousy Days Are Back Again

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 517

hi Caden,

I can so relate, I'm my worst enemy too... and I feel like the change is hard most of the time because I feel like I've always been like that. But then, there are random days when I'm positive and feel, hey, I guess I can be. Anyways, thinking of you.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

CM: I have a suggestion. Because your supervisor is so busy you might want to "speak her language". You might need to ask her for an appointment - let her know you need at least 15 minutes a day of her time so you can perform your tasks at a more efficient level. (or whatever you think you might need. Be specific about the time you need and ask her what time of day would suit her best). Have ready the list of areas where you think you need more assistance or instructions. Professionally speaking, you should also back it up with a written request stating the above - an inter-office memo addressed to her. This should go on file as showing that you are communicating your needs in a professional manner and that you are logically (not emotionally) expecting this request to be addressed. Hope I gave you some ideas. Good luck

p.s. I've worked in gov't offices for a few years.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 420

Caden,

You are working the program and you can change. I am 55 and I thought it was hopeless but I have been able to change my way of thinking and I am getting a lot better. My life is so much better now and yours will be too. Keep posting and working the program and you will not be disappointed

Red

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Caden

Good very good, Your first positives. You are on your way. Some of us have probably had anxiety for longer than you have been alive. I am 59 and only ran across this program a short while ago. If I was not disabled with Arthritis I could rejoin the work force again without an anxious thought. I have suffered anxiety all my life and now I am free. If I can do it so can you. We are all here as one group to share our knowledge and our mistakes to make it easier for you. You can do this. You can change. You can win. And you will win. And I am afraid we are all our own worst enemies. These are my reactions and this is my mind feeding on the negative thoughts. Only I can change my negative thoughts to positive. But I can get direction and help from those that have gone ahead. We are here to help you in any way we can. We are a group and as a group we can help each other beat this.

Here for you, along with the rest of us,

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Hi Ya Samantha:

I am my own worst enemy, it's those darned negative thoughts.

Yes I will have to work through the program because they are so ingrained. Part of me thinks because I have been negative for so long that I can't change & change is too hard. On the other hand I know in order to achieve my goals (getting back into the workforce) I will have to work towards (my psychotherapists terminology) being able to challenge the negative thoughts.

And to make my mum's life better because she deserves more than a daughter who is an emotional roller coaster.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Hi Caden,

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time in your placement. It sounds like a very frustrating situation. I can hear you are working very hard and still seem to be spinning your wheels due to the lack of training. It must be very discouraging.

Have you talked to your program coordinator about the protocol around leaving a placement? She/he might be able to offer suggestions on how to handle the situation. She/he may also be able to tell you what will happen if you leave the placement. I would hate for you to leave the placement to only realize it messes something up with your course. On the other hand, I would hate for you to miss a learning opportunity by staying in a placement where you are not getting any training.

What are your thoughts around talking to a coordinator?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Caden

Do you think this is just a phase and it will pass? Do you think you can find a way to get through this? If you pack it in won't you just have to do it again but some where else if it is a requirement?

Ok now that said, I want you to know that I had a job that just was not going well and since I am not a quitter I stuck it out as long as I could before I left. It was the same sort of situation. The relief I felt after leaving was unbelievable. Now if you were at the point where you were doing exposure I would encourage you to stay just for the benefit you would get from the exposure. But what we want here is for you to get better. Only you can know how much you can take so whether to pack it in or not is going to be your decision. Just know that what ever you decide I will still be here for you.

You will have to deal with people like this at some time because unfortunately there are more than a few people like that out there. If you think you could find a way to deal with it it could be good experience for the future. My other thought is. Why are you trying so hard, You will find it written here in more than one place. You have to take care of you first. If she won't teach you then how can she expect to benefit. Could it be that she is not capable of teaching. I want you to do what you think is best. I'm sure we all do, just as I am sure that as a group we will all stand by you.

Let us know what you decide but what ever you do please don't leave this site and don't give up. Together we can beat this thing, we can and will win.

Your friend.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Hi Ya Davit:

Thank-you to for taking time out to offer words of encouragement.

I took an unpaid work placement because it is a requirement in my college program. Right now the only person benefiting from my work is my supervisor, she is the type of person I am finding that lets her work pile up for a year or so. Now she has me to clear up the back log. You see this is supposed to be a supervised position where I learn things. As for being supervised she just doesn't have the time, she is either in meetings, attending conferences or on the phone. I think in the month I have been there she has actually sat down & spent oh about 2 hours with me and even that wasn't all in 1 day. TI am basically her administrative assistant, nothing which I have ever done in my past 10 years of accounting. Just the other day she asked me to enter survey results on the computer, gave me the surveys and asked if I could just try and figure it out. No training no nothing, oh sure she gave me the website, user name and password & the rest I had to figure out. Stupid me tried and tried getting more frustrated by the minute, but no would I give up - not me. Just continued to get to a point where I couldn't take it anymore, I did as much as I could. It was nearly my time to leave and I just said to myself that's it I can't take it anymore. I went to say good bye & told her about my frustration & what I had accomplished. I couldn't believe what she said - Oh you're smarter than, then she paused. I knew what was next, than I thought. Here I am working my tail off struggling to do the best I can & she says this!

So far I have been asked to provide background research for a pilot project using APA formatting, take minutes at meetings, create a bibliography, look into price comparisons of accounting software, re-do a power point presentation all of this with little or no training from her. My nerves are shot to hell and add to the fact about not being invited to pot lunches. I am seriously thinking of packing it in, as I am on edge day/night, extremely self conscious to the point I just want to run away when cars are going by & think people are judging me when walking by.

As for telling you my good points my psychotherapist asked me to list one of my good points everyday, at this stage the way I feel - I don't see any.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 517

Hi Caden,

welcome back. I think you are very courageous to be out there and I just wanted to point that out, that i'd like to be able to get there too. keep us updated and keep venting.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

sunny

Again you have said it so much better than me, and with the experience to back it. Thank you.

Davit.

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