Been doing well and I certainly appreciate all of your feedback. Its a big help to hear the thoughts of others.
I have finally moved to the city, more people, more traffic, school, and work. Normally, I'm intrigued by this. Lately, I have been able to enjoy my new life here. But, I had a set back today. I went to the mall, I thought things were fine. I noticed I was a little anxious and breathing a little funny, but no bad thoughts were going through my head. Suddenly, I needed to vomit. I ran to the ladies room. After that, I felt spacey and dizzy. I went out and sat on the bench with my husband. We thought I should rest and maybe people watch. I thought this would be a good idea. Next thing I know, I started freaking out. The people around me were very scary. They were invading my space. It felt as if they were monsters. I had to leave immediately, even if that meant to walk outside of the entire mall to get to our car. I wasn't carrying my ativan. I left it at home since I had been doing well for a while.
Once I got home I was fine besides the sadness that followed the panic attack. I felt like I was going crazy so I needed to go home instead of following through our plans for the day. I felt imprisoned. I've been adapting great with my new surroundings and responsiblites then all of a sudden, I felt terrified. This is imposing on life. I want control over this. Its saddens me to know that my nerves are in control. I know everything is fine, but my nerves feel like they have a mind of there own.
My panic attacks have been fewer and further apart, but when they hit, they hit hard. I'm afraid I'm going crazy. I don't want to go into a mental instituion. Does anyone feel like this?