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Sense of Crazyiness

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Lucid_Dream

That is so wonderful. Do you think you could have said that a while ago when all was not going well?

I never thought I would get to where I am but here I am.

(where ever you go there you are)

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 86

Those pesky little setbacks!

When you look at the whole picture, though, you see that they are hiccups, not the whole enchilada. I find what helps me is to get back on the bull as soon as possible, so that I can negate the setback (i.e. break even, at least).

For example, I tried to drive across a bridge I fear yesterday. I did it, but was so over-the-top in a state of panic, I almost pulled over to the side of the road on the other side because I thought I was going to faint. I had to work VERY hard at challenging the negative thoughts and was starting to get frustrated that I got myself to that point. But, rather than dwelling on it, today I went to the mall and practiced challenging my thoughts with every trigger that occurred and I went home feeling successful.

Setbacks are not going to lead us back down the path of absolute feeling of being out of control our ourselves. They are glitches in our progress, but will get fewer and farther between. Don't let them bother you. They don't deserve our attention!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12

Hey Leanna,

I do also and can relate to how you are feeling, i think alot of Panic/ Anxiety sufferers are or have felt the very same way you are. You are not going crazy, it just feels that way. Remember Thoughts are a big part of panic , just keep tracking your thoughts and write them down. I too have come along way and have setbacks, but that is all they are setbacks. Stay positive and give yourself some credit for how far you have come and the progress you have made. Maybe carry a couple pills in your purse just so you know they are there.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

When I'm in the middle of doing a lot better, then suddenly have a rough day and a panic attack again, I always feel a little defeated and worry everything is falling apart and that I'm entering a really bad spell again. I just repeat to myself that it's normal to have a harder day every now and again, but that doesn't mean I won't continue to progress and improve.

I carry Xanax with me all the time when I'm away from home for emergencies, even though in the last few weeks I've rarely used it. I know exactly how comforting it is to have that "safety net" in your pocket, but I read some very good advice that I'll share: the pill in your pocket isn't helping you to relax at all. You do all the relaxing yourself - having the pill in your pocket is just a sign we read telling us everything is okay and to relax. Think of all the times you have the pills with you and don't use them. Those are all cases where you keep yourself calm without the aid of a drug. I remind myself of all those times when I find myself away from home without the Xanax.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

This might give you a laugh.

I will never take Ativan again and I am coming up to two years off of it and I just realized that I still have a bottle of it in my car. It isn't a crutch really it is more like a safety net. Better to use the bridge than tempt the crocodiles.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

I saw where you mentioned about not having the ativan with you. This is familiar to me. I take valium, when needed, and I sometimes flirt with not taking any with me if I am going to the store or maybe even somewhere further from home. During stronger moments in my life I used to not even carry it with me some days.

Just a few weeks ago, I got all the way to work (25 miles away) and then realized I did not bring my little plastic bag that has a few pills in it for emegencies. I got nervous and started to worry, but then I remembered I had a couple of old pills hidden in my middle console in my car. But even before I remembered they were possibly in there, I realized that I would still be OK. I told my wife this and she smiled.

I still always try and remember to bring it with me, and just about always do. I am not saying don't carry the ativan with you, but just wanted to share my experience in hopes it would help you realize that you are not alone in thinking you can do without, but it's not a bad thing to have it with you.. I think it's always safe to have it with you, but that is just my opinion. It's only a crutch for some of us, but just the fact of having it nearby gives a little extra confidence.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Leanna,

You are not going crazy. Many people on this forum can relate to you. Try not to get too discouraged by this setback. Don't forget all the progress you have made. Have you been tracking your thoughts and symptoms? Did you notice anything different about the other day? Keep staying strong!

Members, please share your thoughts.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Leanna.

I suspect you are trying to stop the Ativan too soon on top of wanting so bad to fit into your new environment. You have probably been blocking the little anxieties till they let loose in a flood and now you are scared they will come back again.

You are not the least bit headed to a mental institute. You would have to be a lot worse and even then it would be for a rest and would be for from four days to two weeks. You wouldn't qualify for a longer stay even if you were suicidal. I know. I've been there.

Put the Ativan back in your purse so you have it if you need it and don't use it unless you need it.

If you click on my blog there is a post on Ativan that explains how it works and how to get off it and why what happened to you did. It will help you spot the warning signs of another pending panic attack. Think positive, you may never have another.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 24

Been doing well and I certainly appreciate all of your feedback. Its a big help to hear the thoughts of others.

I have finally moved to the city, more people, more traffic, school, and work. Normally, I'm intrigued by this. Lately, I have been able to enjoy my new life here. But, I had a set back today. I went to the mall, I thought things were fine. I noticed I was a little anxious and breathing a little funny, but no bad thoughts were going through my head. Suddenly, I needed to vomit. I ran to the ladies room. After that, I felt spacey and dizzy. I went out and sat on the bench with my husband. We thought I should rest and maybe people watch. I thought this would be a good idea. Next thing I know, I started freaking out. The people around me were very scary. They were invading my space. It felt as if they were monsters. I had to leave immediately, even if that meant to walk outside of the entire mall to get to our car. I wasn't carrying my ativan. I left it at home since I had been doing well for a while.

Once I got home I was fine besides the sadness that followed the panic attack. I felt like I was going crazy so I needed to go home instead of following through our plans for the day. I felt imprisoned. I've been adapting great with my new surroundings and responsiblites then all of a sudden, I felt terrified. This is imposing on life. I want control over this. Its saddens me to know that my nerves are in control. I know everything is fine, but my nerves feel like they have a mind of there own.

My panic attacks have been fewer and further apart, but when they hit, they hit hard. I'm afraid I'm going crazy. I don't want to go into a mental instituion. Does anyone feel like this?

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