Hi Miki
This is only my opinion but I think maybe this therapist isn't the "right fit" for you.
I personally had to try a few different people before I found one that was right the first time I tried therapy. I'm currently in the process of finding a new one as I haven't been in over 10 years.. even more maybe.
A therapist is a VERY personal decision and you don't have to settle for anyone. You need to be comfortable with the person and you definately have to feel as though it is helping. Otherwise it is a waste of your time, energy and money. Therapy with the right person although "hard" at times should be a rewarding and valuable experience. It should challenge you but should be comfortable and "safe" for you to share your feelings.
I personally have an anxiety disorder and OCD tendencies so for me I need to have someone who can specifically treat OCD... Otherwise for me it is a waste of time... Therapists know not everyone is the right fit and won't be offended when you tell them you're looking for a change. I personally prefer a woman, I'm not sure why but the one time I saw a man I knew I wouldn't be completely honest. Maybe I feared he would judge me differently or view me as weak. My perceptions as I'm sure he was a great therapist as he had great references but just not for me.
There is a checklist a therapist I was looking at recommended me to use when looking..... A great tool and maybe something you can use.
Feel free to interview a prospective therapist. Ask questions about their style of therapy and training, fee structure, cancellation policy, insurance reimbursement, how long they have been in practice, and if they are familiar working with the kinds of issues you wish to present in therapy.
Give some thought to whether you should see a man or a woman therapist.
Remember that different people work together in different ways. You should feel comfortable with the style of your therapist. Sometimes it takes a few "tries" to find a good match. It is OK to shop around until you find the right therapist for you.
Expect and demand ethical practices, especially and including issues of confidentiality and any form of physical contact.
Remember that therapy, in the hands of a skilled therapist, is a powerful and life-changing experience. It has been shown to be effective for a variety of illnesses and problems. If you need therapy and work as an active participant in your own treatment, you can expect it will be well worth the time and money you invest.
What Type Of Therapist Do You Need?
There are many types of licensed mental health professionals, differing in educational backgrounds, training, licensure, philosophy, and technique.
- Psychiatrists are medical doctors and can prescribe medication. Very few psychiatrists also provide psychotherapy, but usually refer to and work in conjunction with other psychotherapists.
- Psychologists usually have a Doctorate in Psychology and have completed an internship under supervision.
- Counsellors usually have a Master's degree in Counselling and have completed an internship under supervision.
- Clinical Social Workers typically have a Master's degree in Social Work and have completed a supervised internship.
- Other types of licensed professionals include Marriage and Family Counsellors and Chemical Dependency Counsellors.
What Theoretical Orientation Do You Want Your Therapist To Have?
Many differences between therapists show up in the area of theoretical orientation, which describes their basic philosophy and beliefs about what causes mental health distress and how they work with clients. See below for definitions of theories and techniques used in therapy. Many therapists work with clients in a variety of ways and ascribe to more than one theoretical perspective.
What Are Some Questions You May Want To Ask?
It is important to get as much information about a therapist as possible before entering into a therapeutic relationship with him or her. Remember, you will be sharing very personal information with your therapist so it will need to be an individual you have confidence in and can connect with. It's OK to interview a therapist, either in a phone conversation or in a first session, so that you can obtain the necessary information to make a well-informed decision. Here are examples of some of the types of questions you may want to ask:
- What are your credentials and training?
- What are your areas of expertise and specialization?
- What specific training do you have in your areas of specialization?
- Are you on the provider list for my insurance plan?
- What is your standard fee? How long are sessions? Do you have a sliding fee scale? Are fees different for individual, couples, or group therapy?
- How many clients have you worked with that have had similar issues to mine? How did you work with them and how did it help?
- Are you in good standing with your licensing board? Has anyone ever made a complaint against you? If so, how was it resolved?
- Do you receive your own supervision, consultation, or therapy from a professional?
- Where did you go to graduate school and where did you do your internship?
- How long have you been in private practice?
- What are your beliefs about how therapy should work? What do you do during sessions and what do you expect from a client during and between sessions?
- How can I contact you in an emergency?
How Will I Know If This Person Is The Right Therapist For Me?
After getting all the information and talking with several professionals, you will need to make a decision. At this point the best advice is to trust your gut feelings. It is important that you work with a therapist who is qualified to help you in your particular area of need and that it is an individual with whom you feel safe, can talk easily with, and a person you feel you can learn to trust.
I hope this helps Miki...and don't be too hard on yourself. This journey we are on can have some BIG bumps in the road....... I always think they make me a bit stronger...even when I feel like tossing in the towel.. so to speak.. lol...
Take Care!
