thankyou for the understanding and advice.It means so much to be able to discuss things and get replies.
I think maybe things are feeling worse lately because i know it was around this time last year when i began having panic attacks and general anxiety. I feel that, by now, I should have improved in some way. I am terrified of the prospect of having 'lost' my life and being reduced to mere 'existence' for the remainder of my days. Yet I know if I challenge these thoughts-I am catastrophising. I am presuming my life is over, that I should end things now for there is no hope...but I have to challenge this; there is NOTHING to say i cannot regain my life, that i will not feel better tomorrow, next week, next month...i just need strength and patience