It's been awhile since I've been online. Had been ok for about a month, then the last 2 weeks getting a little worse each day. But BIG setback today - had a stressful business dinner last night and it was all I could do to make it through it - numerous dizzy spells, stomach pains, arm and chest pains - but I did make it through, and I was proud of myself. Then I got slammed today with EXTREME fatigue (nightmares about the dinner kept me awake) and now chest pains.
I'm beside myself - left work early and literally begged my husband to cancel his plans for tonite. I know he's disappointed but he couldn't say no - thank goodness. I hate doing this to him. He's going away next week and I'm already freaking out. Now I'm sitting here crying, wondering how I can get through this. I don't know if I should go to the hospital, go to bed, or take a walk (of course it's like 115 degrees outside...). I feel like I can't breathe, my back hurts, I've getting pinching pains in my chest and shoulders. To make it worse, just found out the other day that a friend of mine (granted, she's in her late 50's) had a mild heart attack - so that's all I can think of. I keep trying to talk myself down from this but I can't - which scares me even more. It's a vicious cycle I know but my husband (the only one besides one friend of mine who knows my 'condition') can't understand. Bless him, he tries, but I can see in his eyes that he just thinks I'm crazy. He only realized recently how stressful my job was, when the whole MS potential was thrown at me and a neurologist did all the tests, then came back and said "you need to quit or find a way to deal with your stress 'cos you don't have MS but your anxiety is real".
But now I'm rambling. ANy thoughts? Any help? Any advice? ANyone know a decent counsellor in Vegas 'cos all the ones I've seen suck - one couldn't even look me in the eyes; kept staring at her shoes the whole time.
