I can only ask for small things. Consultations are free, from armchair quarterbacks.
One cousin, to my surprise, stated that "I'm there(meaning in the home" so I am elected.
I am getting some support, but when you're competing with missing on overtime, blackmailed by the spouse, it leaves little leverage for me. I just end up being frustrated, and antagonized.
At this point, I know mom would be in hospital without me around, because of the dependence, so we'll have to foot the bill for hired help.
I'm a micromanager, which doesn't help things.