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anxiety due to marriage problems


16 years ago 0 77 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi, I can really empathise with this one !! I only had a really bad time with panic about 4 years ago, which lasted a year, and with a lot of help, from family, and this site and its programme, I pulled through and have now been panic free since then. They seemed to come out of the blue, but gradually I realised that a lot of it was actually caused by my marriage being in a bad state at that time. My husband has a fairly dominant personality, and at times I felt intimidated by him ( not physically ) emotionally. It was a huge step for me to admit this to myself let alone anyone else, and I too had thoughts of leaving him. Eventually we talked tho', lots, and dealt with a lot of issues that should have been talked about a long time before. It certainly didn't change overnight, the hardest part was getting the reins back once I was recovering, as being 'ill' gave him a lot of control, he was in effect my carer for a year. So we have remained together, but our relationship has definately changed for the better, and now I know I would be strong enough to stand on my own two feet if I had to. Maybe, with all the tension that an unsupportive partner can bring, you may feel much better without him, but only you can know this for certain. Its a big step, but we're usually much stronger than we give ourselves credit for ( and I'm really talking to us women here !!! ). Making the decision is quite often the hardest part, but if thats what you decide to do, surround yourself with people that can give you some extra support for a while, and know that you can do it without him, and maybe even do it better !! Whatever you decide, I wish you the best, because thats what we all deserve !!
16 years ago 0 1 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Mugs, You must be very anxious for this date, especially with so much prep time. Why wait till spring to ask for a seperation if you know that it is something you want now? You need someone that is supportive of you and understands your stuggles. I'm not sure how far in to the program you are but hopefully you are tracking your anxiety and have been able to pin-point some of the reasons around it. If you do wait until the spring, you may have learned how to deal with many of your anxieties by then. Try making a list of all of the reasons that you would like to seperate from your husband. This will help to reinforce them, so if you do feel like going back to him, you will always remember why you left in the first place. Talk to some friends or family prior to your seperation and to make sure that you have a support team to help you through the hard moments. Brenna, Bilingual Health Educator
16 years ago 0 7 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I have always had panic disorder (since age 25) which gre worse after I got married. Unfortunately my husband never understood what it was about and is still not always supportive. In fact he accused me of being in a "drug induced stupr" because I'd taken one .5 of lorazepam. It's a long story, but my marriage has had many problems adn we've lived like roommates (no sex) for the past 36 years. I've decided it's finally time for some happiness for myself and am going to ask for a separation in the spring. The problem is as the time approacheds I feel my panic getting worse. I'm afraid of how my husband will react, how I'll maike out on my own and all the "what ifs" that would occur at my age. How can I change my life if panic and anxiety continue to keep me form taking action. I left my H once before but depression and guilt forced me to return. I want 2008 to be different.

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