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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

sunny

I have a friend that tells people. "Don't ,You should, me." when he gets unwanted advise. I too tend to do things that should be done instead of cause I want to. I'm trying to do the need too's first even if there not fun. Then the "I want too's" and then the "I should's." The thing is a lot of the should's are more interesting.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 517

I used to force myself too. Well, it didn't feel like it was much force until I broke down. Anyways, those are good reminders... I'm just going to let this go for now.. until I need to pick it up again. Thanks for the tips.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

My problem is I always force myself to do things. Instead of accepting I just don't feel like it, I am more the type to force through it because I think I should. Those awful "shoulds, musts and have to" sometimes run me. I am learning though to accept that tomorrow is another day and be able to relax 'til then.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

anerol.

I used to do this putting things off too. But I finally did them when the time felt right. Better to do something with confidence than to blunder through it cause you have to.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 517

Maybe my family is just an excuse. I get frustrated with myself, when I sit around the house with not much motivation or energy to do anything. I know I'm healthy and I know I am able to do things, I have the resources, but I don't have the courage to step out. I know it but I don't believe it I guess. So, I want to start something, I don't want to be stuck in my past forever... so I feel like a therapist would be a good step for me. I feel like I can use it as a tool to practice going out and actually having a verbal communication with a stranger, to get back on track and see things from another perspective. That is what I want... and I idealize about it, but once I say ok, I'll do it, I end up not dialing. I know it will be good, even if I do get disappointed, but I'm still afraid.

Davit and Shadowskins, thanks for the feedback. It's helping me clear my head on what I really want to do. Like you guys said, I'll probably do it when I'm really ready.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 112

Hi Anerol,

It's never easy to confide in someone you don't know but for me it was easier talking to my doctor about the smallest things...where with my husband I would not say everything so as not to worry him. I guess it's all in how you look at it.

Most of all do this for you and no one else, when you feel like your anxiety is running your life , then maybe you will feel

comfortable enough to reach out to a therapist.

You seem like a pretty level headed person to me and I know you will do what you need to do.

Whatever your decision, we are all here to support each other.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

anerol

I fought going to a therapist for years for the same reasons that you have. I realize you could get some one you are not compatible with or some one you just don't like. I also might just have been very lucky to get the one I have. I wish I could share her with you, she is very good. Don't go to a therapist to satisfy your family, go for you. Do you need to go?

Maybe not. Do you think you are still progressing? A therapist is trained to give you answers but you still have to have the questions because it is like here where everybody is a bit different. A therapist is not a psychiatrist. Your therapist will not give you the third degree to see if you are crazy. A therapist is like a good friend that you can trust with your secrets and you know they won't be spread or ridiculed. A therapist is there to help and will try to help so if you don't go with prepared questions then he or she may ask you things you don't want to answer at the moment. Going to a therapist is less painful than going to a doctor or dentist. Did you ask your doctor for a referral. Your doctor should know who is good. How about if you just treat it like window shopping. No commitment just go and have a look. A therapist is not a cure. A therapist gives you answers and reasons why, but you still have to do the work. What can a therapist do for you that you can't do for yourself? A therapist can spot things that are bothering you that you may not see. A therapist can tell you when you are ready to go to the next stage of your recovery. A therapist will be there for you if you crash and burn. Going to a therapist will give you a reason to work harder when you just don't want to.

So the decision is up to you. Don't go because I go. Go if you think you are ready and if you think going will do some good. Go for the experience, I think you will like it. Go just because you can. You are anerol and you can do this.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 517

Hi, I'm having trouble picking up the phone and dialing to find a therapist. I guess, I'm afraid to be disappointed... if the therapist is something I wasn't expecting. And I feel like I'm pushing myself to get one. I find it uncomfortable that I'm going to a stranger to find my answers. I think I feel defensive and feel like this person won't know or understand me. I am also feeling like I'm doing "ok" without one right now... but I'm not doing much to trigger my anxiety these days either (only minor exposure work) so it makes me wonder if I really need one. I feel like I SHOULD get one... just because I've read many of your relieving stories about having one.. and that it might take me to a better place. I also feel like it would give some relief to my family... like it will look like I'm obviously trying to get better. But the fear I have most is letting a stranger into my problems. I feel like I'm in a secure zone right now.. where my anxiety is at bay but the fact is it's because I've lowered the standard bar and I'm not doing much. I realize this and it puts a bit of pressure on me, like I need to rush.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 112

Hi Anerol,

No problem for the tip, I hope it works out for you. I start my group sessions on April 7, 2010...they are an 8 week

session so you have to wait till a new group starts. My doctor told me too that I can ask for a little one on one time

from the session co-ordinator , if I feel the need. It's nice to know that option is there because I often am quite shy

at first.

Wishing you all the best in your search and a Happy Easter too.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 517

Hey Shadowkins,

thanks for the tip. How has the group therapy worked for you? I'm interested in trying that after I see a good therapist.

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