I feel so much better today.  My husband actually went out with me.  We went to get bagels and coffee for breakfast, went grocery shopping, went to the book store for some Christmas shopping, went to lunch and to Sweet Frog for dessert.  It was a fun day!  I feel much better, the head cold is over.  My back still is in spasm mode, but it will eventually get better.  I got confirmation that my meet up has been deleted.  I'll still go on Wednesday on the off chance that Irene and Mark show up.  I'm still glad I cancelled it, because, I really don't want to have my social life depend upon whether people feel like showing up to my social or not.  If they do come and want to continue to meet, that's great, if not, I'll move onto to something better   I'm glad I tried it, it's something that was way outside of my comfort zone, so it wasn't a waste, it was a learning experience and good exposure to do something I had anxiety about doing.  I got a book called, "Selling Your Crafts Online with Etsy, eBay and Pinterest."  I thought it would be something interesting to research.  I also got two of my favorite U.K. knitting magazines, they come in a clear plastic bag with free goodies inside.  One has 3 free mini skeins of yarn and an extra booklet of knitted toys.  The other came with a free book of knitted Christmas gift patterns - fun, fun, fun!!!  I was thinking of Red, when I got them, because she had said to treat myself for taking a risk with the coffee social.  I'm starting to associate positive things with continued exposure work, especially if there is a cool reward.  It's like taking medicine followed by a teaspoon of sugar   Hope everyone is doing well and feeling well.  Have a great weekend everyone!!!

Shari 

Hi Shari,

 

Thanks for posting your inspiration! It was a very positive and encouraging read. So glad to hear all the gifts in your day.

You deserve them.

 

 

Some times you have to hit the bottom in order for change to ignite inside of you.  Instead of planning a pity party for myself (party of one :) I decided to be pro active and start reading positive books and get out of the negative mindset.  So, I did.  I also did some soul searching.  I'll address what I've learned as I go along.  First, regarding having a head cold and back spasm. Why make it worse by having a crappy attitude.  So, I tell myself, "This is just temporary and I will feel better soon".  Then, from reading my positive book, I became self aware of an area I've been stuck in for far too long.  The life that I loved, ended when my daughter grew up and left.  I am still clinging to the past when she lived here.  She's moved on, but I haven't and I realize I need to.  For myself to move on, I'm using positive scriptures to help me.  Isaiah 43: 18  Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  I don't mean I'm forgetting my daughter, just that I can't hold onto a way of life that doesn't exist anymore.  I went back to my values sheet (I will be eternally grateful to Ashley for the Using Your Values As Your Compass thread) and saw that God was on the bottom of the list and He needed to be at the top.  I think sometimes things happen to get your attention.  I'm guilty of going to God when I need something, like when I'm sick or in pain.  So, I prayed and got right with God and said, "If you think I need friends, I trust You to send them.  And, if I don't, I have You and that's all I need.  Ironically, after I put it in God's Hands and stopped trying to do it on my own, I received two emails.  One from Irene who didn't show up to the coffee social and one from Mark who had canceled before.  Irene said she was coming this next Wed. and Mark said he'd try to come this next Wed.  So, for common courtesy I will show up.  But, the difference is, I'm going with God, so to speak, and I have no expectations and whether they show up or not, I've decided not to be upset about whatever happens.  So, I'm not giving my power and happiness to others.  I will enjoy a cup of coffee and enjoy myself whether it's just a party of one (me :)  In the book, the author mentioned to look for repeat events that keep coming up, as possible opportunities that God has for you.  The other day, I declined designing a sign for the bird club and declined the offer of being an Inspector.  The President of the club emailed back and said, "That's okay Shari.  Just let me know when you're ready to be a Board Member."  The bird club is the only group pursuing me and I've been rejecting them, thinking it's not particularly what I want to get involved with, but maybe God has a purpose, so I'm going to reach out to them again after I get my health back.  The other area of my life where fear rears it's ugly head, is the future.  And, I've decided to have faith in God and not worry about it.  There are many scriptures that back up how much He cares for us and has a plan for us.  So, I'm not going to be nosy about the details :)  I was up at 3 in the morning really feeling ill and got up to take medicine and could not get back to sleep.  This morning my husband hugged me before work and said something very kind to me.  I haven't seen that compassion  from him in 13 years.  Also, after praying and receiving the emails from the coffee social people, I also got a get well email from my husband.  He had attached a photo of two baby Penguins that were hugging and I can't tell you how much that meant to me.  Regarding the coffee group, ironically, I had canceled my monthly payment and asked them to delete my account and the group.  So, I was surprised to receive emails from two people saying they would attend.  I guess the meet up group hasn't gotten deleted yet.  My last positive note from the book..."You must believe that everything is working toward the greater good in your situation.  The unknown is the big picture.  We are too busy focusing on one troublesome spot in our lives.  We fail to comprehend the magnitude of our existence, to understand that our life is not just about us.  It is about us ALL as a whole.  So, there are reasons, unknown to me now, why I live where I live.  It's not just about me.  Each of us impact other people's lives as well.  There is a greater purpose, even if you don't know what it is.  I feel at peace and I'm looking forward to my adventure and journey ahead, in life, and I am not afraid.  I'll let you know what happens with the coffee group, the bird club, etc.  I feel all things are possible, I just have to be open to them and willing to participate :)  Have a wonderful day everyone!  Stay encouraged no matter what!

Shari