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Fear of driving, I need help :/

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Fear of driving, I need help :/

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 25

Hiya Davit :)

You are completely right on my driving issue being a control issue. I moved from the country in to the city about 5 years ago and I felt culture shock instantly. There is so much more pressure that people face in the city without realizing it due to the high volume of people and everyone making everyone else angry. When I would visit out here, it was fun, but now that I live here, I can not escape the madness and it turns in to negative stress for me personally.

I have been using the methods you mentioned, and they do help. I think this is one of my areas where I am really going to have to focus on my exposure work, as will anyone else that is facing these problems. Thank you for your response and encouragement :) Hopefully things will change soon as I am really getting tired of having this issue with driving.

-Tanya

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Tanya

It really is about control. Who has the control, you or your demons. Driving is one of life's pleasures and a privilege some do not have. Such a waste if it is difficult. I spent most days behind the wheel and enjoyed it till one day I found I couldn't. It took a little while plus the new definition for Agoraphobia to show me it was not the driving at all. It was dwelling on control. I felt I had no control anymore. Stop signs and street light, Appointments and shopping were all dictating to me. Speed limits and rude drivers. All these things I was noticing I had no control over and they were exaggerating in my mind making it hard to drive. Panic is just excessive focusing. My cure is simple. It is the basic three things of exposure also. Attitude, perception and belief. You have to want to, you have to see you can, and you have to believe you can.

Then with the help of relaxation and distraction coping skills all you have to do is tell yourself you are doing it because you want to, not because you have to. All the other things controlling the situation can just get in line, you are doing it because you want to. This is taking back control and with the help of a pat on the back for being successful you get to win.

The distractions and relaxation become automatic after a while and soon you are looking forward to the challenge of driving.

You may have to start slow but if you really believe, you will do it.

Remember "have to" is negative and takes control from you. "want to" is positive and gives control to you. Use it in all Agoraphobic situations.

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 25

Oh man, your struggles sound very much like my own. I used to love driving alone, and I feel aweful that something I love so much has been taken away from me. I also used to love to go to stores alone and shop, and now it's like I can not do anything like that by myself and there is no real reason for it; it just happened. I am interested to see what others post about this as I have a strong issue with the same problem. Exposure work has helped a lot, but the problem is still there and I desperately want it gone!

Let's beat this "panic attacks in the car" demon!!!

-Tanya

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Starbucks

"what if's" is a control issue. Allowing the anxiety to control you rather than the other way round. For every negative "what if" there is a positive one. Control issues are changed by changing "I have to" to "I want to". It takes the control from the issue, (driving) and gives it back to you. Your fear of driving puts it in the realm of "have to" rather than "want to".

Try telling yourself over and over as you drive (or anything anxious provoking) that you are doing it because you want to, not because you have to. Do it slowly going longer or farther as you gain control back and reward yourself by saying over and over, "I did it or I won".

Why do this? Because you need to bury the "what ifs". You need to take back control.

This is part of how CBT works, changing negative thought to positive and repeating it till it becomes normal thought. Combine this with relaxation and distracting techniques and you will get control back.

Davit.

Ps. I found using Medication to drive left me with rebound and couldn't after a while drive without it. I have no trouble driving and I am not on meds now.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Starbucks,

The program can help with the anxiety you are experiencing; if you put the work in you will see results. Anxiety is a very managable disorder; you can take control of this. This program can help with exposure and so can a therapist.

I noticed your fear centers around a lot of what if statements. Have you tried answering them? What if you get trapped outside the car for two hours? Here are some more questions to help you challenge some of your fears:

1.   Is it "true"?
2.   How do I know it’s true?
3.   Is the anxious thought 100% true? (Something less than 100% true is not true)
4.   What's the evidence for it being true?
5.   What's the evidence against it being true?
6.   Has it ever happened before?
7.   What's different now?
8.   How bad would it really be?
9.   What's the worst thing that could happen?

10. If the worst thing happened, how bad would it really be?

Keep us updated on how you are doing!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Welcome S

rbucks,

I find I can also glean info from the search of previous threads. There's a search on the home page. Many other members will welcome you as we log on during the next day

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Thanks for your quick response! I started a few of the lessons, but switched computers and have to start all over :/ I plan on seeing a therapist for help with exposure activities, do you think they'd be able to help with that? Or do you think exposure is something to do on your own. I don't want to drive with someone for an hour, then leave them stranded because Im too scared to drive back. :(

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

Hi applejack. Have you started to use the sessions and the tools on the site yet? It's great that you are able to document exactly what your anxious thoughts are. You are ahead on the homework in that case because a very early step is to document your anxious thoughts and to challenge them (using the tools on the site).

In my case, I started to experience panic while I was jogging. I got to a point where I would not jog more than a certain distance from my car (Can you imagine running six miles going back and forth 1/2 mile? - I've done this). I've been challenging myself to increase the distance - this weekend was the farthest I've done - 1.5 miles.

Following the program, I would think you could find yourself, eventually, setting driving goals for yourself and I am sure that you can accomplish them!
Best wishes!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

I developed anxiety a little over a year ago, when I was sitting in my college class, and ever since the day I got diagnosed, anxiety has controlled my life. I don't go a minute throughout my day without thinking, what if this... what if that...what if I get stuck here and can't go home... what If I get stuck there and can't leave when I want to. Its unbearable. My fears have ranged from being scared to go to work and be alone, go to the mall, and go to restaurants. Those have passed. My latest *and hardest* fear is driving. Its really impacting my life. Im a 19 year old girl, and I can't go places with my friends or my boyfriend because Im terrified to go far distances. About a half an hour is my driving limit, and I only feel half way comfortable if Im driving alone. If someone else is driving, I need to take a xanax in order to relax. :/

This is very hard on me, as my best friend just moved across the bay bridge, and Im too scared to drive to go see her. My boyfriend also wants to travel, and I just can't do it. My fear isnt even explainable...I guess its kind of a, "what if I no longer want to be in the car anymore, and I get trapped 2 hours from home because I cant get back in the car?" or "What if I can't shake this unbearable feeling for the whole drive?" or of coarse, panic attacks while driving...does anyone have any suggestions?

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Fear of driving, I need help :/