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Feel like I´m going backwards

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Yes that is how it is done. Distractions and self talk. Rewards too, mostly in the form of "I did it" or "I won". But actual rewards are good too.

I just had a weird vision of all of us competing to see who could stay in the longest.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 25

Hiya Nat,

Please don't let one failure make you feel like you are not getting closer to victory. You did step out in faith, you had courage, and you knew that you had the tools that you needed to take these steps in your exposure work. These are all very good things! We will all have moments in our exposure work where we feel like we are not getting better and then feel afraid of more panic attacks after doing so. This is just part of panic disorder and learning how to manage it. Think of it this way, if your life depended on you riding a horse and that horse bucked you off, would you not dust yourself off and get back on?

Each one of us has goals for our panic disorder, and each one of us has moments where we feel like we just can't do what we need to do to over come, but the only way out of this is through it and with faith and determination, you will get through it! Our program discusses that when we have a set back in our exposure work, we need to set some lower goals for that part of the exposure work and keep on moving forward. This is how we are going to get through it. I have already had some set-backs in my exposure work myself. When I first started working on it, I knew that I was having trouble going to the grocery store across the street, so what I did was make myself go in to buy one thing.

When I got inside the doors, my panic attacks started really heavily and fast. I got really dizzy and felt like people saw me, and so I quickly walked out, but then I stopped outside of the door until my fear got to a managable level. Then, I walked back inside the store and the cycle started again, but this time, I pretended I was shopping at the entrance and made it look like I was very interested in the toilet paper sale at the front of the store. After a few moments of this, I began to laugh at how funny my distraction tactic was, told myself I can and will do this, and was able to move on.

You can do this. You are strong enough and you are not going to faint or die in the midst of your panic attack. Everything you need is right infront of you, and when you are ready, you will begin to conquer this! Keep on fighting the good fight, and I look forward to reading your success story :)

Tanya

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Communication is key and you can tell him.

Work your way to the conversation or make a few little conversations. Introduce him to the site for knowledge that can help him understand what you are going through.

Take it step by step, this is a great move toward progress!

Josie, Health Educator

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Mickeylover, I feel you should tell your boyfriend whats going on. There is no shame in anxiety. I told mine what was going on, and though he may not understand it, he tries to help. I promise you, if you have been together that long, the last thing he is going to do is judge you. You may even feel better after telling him because he will know what does and doesn't make you uncomfortable, and he'll probably try to accommodate and help with that. As soon as I told my friends what was going on, because I was in the same boat as you, I couldn't go out in public places, my friends understood. They would try and help me by doing exposure activities, and baby steps. They didn't pressure me to go places I felt uncomfortable. Though with there help, I eventually I overcame it.

But what im saying is, it will probably ease your mind if you tell your boyfriend. That way, you don't have to face this alone. If he knows you feel uncomfortable, just knowing that you have someone there who you can talk to about it (even though he may not fully understand), is a huge help.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I think you should tell him also, but I think you should also give him some pertinent information also. He needs to know that 25% of people have a mental disorder of some kind and only a very few do not get better and they are far worse than you. I was and am a strong person but panic laid me low. I'm a much better person now. More compassionate and understanding. I do not ever want to go through panic attacks again but for some reason I don't regret the experience. I think I am a better person for it. I do see the world with a better outlook.

I'm 61, starting a new life and adding on to a house. We share everything and I have no secrets from her. I think it is the way to go. If there are going to be problems it is better to fix them now.

When it gets bad remember me. If some one as badly messed up as me can get better so can anyone. Life is good on this side of the fence. Well worth the climb.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 26

Davit : Thank you for your help you always make me feel much better like there is always hope you are always so positive I'm glad we can seek your advice also you make me feel like I have a friend that understands me. I always take your advice and it helps me move on from where I am stuck.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 26

Ashley: I feel embarrassed to tell him whats going on with me I feel if I tell him he's going to think I'm not that strong person that he met a while ago, and I don't know how to tell him but I'm going to have to because he plans to propose to me next year and we are going to get a house together but I'm afraid to stay home by myself how do I tell him all of this without feeling embarrassed about it?

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 517

I'm glad I found this discussion. I had a small set back today but I felt better after reading this.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Hi Mickeylover,

This is the anxiety and know that it can be managed. Try not to think of it as a setback, it is just another area to work on. This anxiety can be addressed with the program as I am sure you know. Planning exposure around this fear will be helpful. You will get a handle on this and we will help you get there.

Your boyfriends support would also be very helpful while going through this. What is stopping you from communicating this anxiety to your boyfriend? What would you gain and/or lose if you told him?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

mickeylover.

The problem with doing exposure without the three tenets of exposure means you will always have to do exposure because you will not have changed your thought pattern. Exposure is meant to reinforce these otherwise all it does is leave you uninterested from the repetition. Leave a space in between exposures and it can come back. The fear of a situation is still in your memory and available. The work of CBT is to cover up these memories with positive ones. The more you think you are regressing the farther back you will go. You needed to reinforce the positive you had built from doing the program but some how didn't so the negative is too available.

First is to realize you are not going crazy. Second is to stop concentrating on what you can't do and concentrate on what you can. (burying the negative) Third is to go back and do again what worked. Keeping in mind perception, (looking at every situation in a positive way if possible) Attitude, (you did it before, you can do it again) and Belief. (CBT works, you have to believe it though or it won't.)

For now if you are not using medication and even if you are, work on positive thought. Bring back your relaxing and coping skills and I guess do the program again. It does work. CBT worked for me and I went through the same phase you are. It is normal to question whether you are getting better and in such way bring back the negative. You need to find a way to stop that thought. Bury it with something positive.

Davit.

I sound like my therapist. Nag nag.

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Feel like I´m going backwards