Eleveno
The biggest reason to do something even if you don't want to is for some one else. This need to care for others is very strong. When a person loses this they lose reason. It is harder to do something you don't want to do for yourself. Who is going to be impressed? Male thing I think.
Doing something for loved ones gives purpose to even the most menial job if it supplies the means to do what you want to. Impressing a parent, wife, child are all good reasons.
So I guess I was asking who are you doing this job for? Even if you think you are doing it for the money or for yourself, those are poor reasons and will not bring satisfaction. If just for the money then you will always want a job that pays more. If for yourself you will question why bother, you could get by with something more interesting.
There are ups and downs with doing something to impress some one or doing something for some one else. Some times it feels like you are wasting your time when it is not noticed. But that is just the negative coming out. I've been a recluse most of my life. Even when I lived with some one else. I let myself think "why am I doing this". Truth is I was being selfish. Now I have some one I really want to do things for and all the menial routine has gone by the wayside. I still think some times "why am I doing this" but most of the time you could say I have job satisfaction even though I don't have a job.
I hope this makes sense. I do know that with bipolar the ups and downs are controlled a lot by success. Having a reason is important but it has to be a reasonable reason. This can be difficult during the extreme swings I understand so controlling the swings is important as is understanding that some times it is not you, it is the condition.
Davit.
