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Your top 3- What can you do?

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Isn't finding humour like choosing the opposite of the fallacies which cause support our conditions?

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hugs: You have a good sense of humour, that is great. I find if I laugh, even when I'm crying, it seems to help. Find the funny in the awful and somehow it eases the situation. (I know sometimes in some situations there just ain't nothin' funny 'bout it.) You have to dig deep to get it or wait a few minutes, it'll come, even if you just laugh at how red and puffy your eyes look after a good cry. Or how about this, how awful your hair looks if you've been lying in bed all day, plus the red eyes, who wants to answer the door looking like that and scaring the poor soul on the other side?! Remember what Reader's Digest says: Laughter is the Best Medicine.

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Eleveno,

Maybe we'll be lucky enough to be your "cyber" godmothers and dads!

Davit,

My core value of not being likeable, and I'm working on changing that daily. I'm having tech problems(lost one usb port, can't choose a decent hub(perfectionism & procrastination have killed my life), my files are moving so I can't find them and my laptop touchpad doesn't accept the "tap", only the @#$%^*_+ left & right buttons work!

I've downloaded every driver, except "screw drivers"!

Good news is that I'm learning to use the pad, while it was working, and I've chosen the best hub. I would have bought it yesterday, and not have pad issue, but I had to deal with a flat tire.

Would you believe that the customer service person gave me the shard of glass from my flat tire, at the dealership to calm my fears of sabotage, after I joked whether I should get "CSI"(the forensic people) involved!

My hand problem makes me drop stuff, so maybe the motherboard got shook up when I dropped the laptop(the second last time - the first time it was soft landing).

Sunny*,

To quote Jack Nicholson in "it's as good as it gets", you make me want to be a better man.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Eleveno

I know what you mean about the meds. Here is something people may not know. Pain and pleasure sensors are very close. What effects pain effects pleasure. Especially anti inflammatories and narcotic pain killers or anti anxieties. Beta blockers too because of their anti anxiety effects. The thing to do if it was me would be to talk to my doctor and have him monitor me while I stopped the meds for a short period of time. But I would not recommend doing it without being monitored.

Good luck to you. I really think a child will be good for you. You can be mad at me when it is teething and you are up all night. :-)

Davit

PS, People, if you can just not get excited about life you might want to look at any pain killers you are taking. Tylenol seems to be exempt. ( not an add for Tylenol ) :-)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 619

Davit

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I have talked with my wife and we will do everything to have a child. The problem now is with my meds because they are affecting my sexual life.

Hugs

I had some toxic jobs with toxic people and I suffered a lot because of it. People are not perfect and we need to learn again to trust in people even if sometimes they are not what we think or count for.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Hugs: You sound like a caring person to me. I like caring people. I like you on this site. I'd love to have a coffee with you one day. Heck, I said that about Davit. and I did get to meet him and have that coffee. Who knows, maybe we will meet one day.

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hugs4U

Hmmmm. This is a real fear for you? Okay when you first came on or back was it, you were a little unapproachable but if you can be just you and be liked here why would you not be liked in real life. Is this a core belief you have built? Do you have any Idea where it came from?

There are people that don't like me and people I don't like but I'm accepted for who I am by almost everyone I know. I'd share coffee and conversation with you, so why this lack of trust in yourself? Sounds like a core belief and a pretty strong one. Mine are just that I'm not good enough and that I'm ugly. My positive one to counter them is that I just don't care anymore. I'm going for broke, life is too short to let a core belief interfere. If it helps you I want you to know that I like what I see here. Are you ready to give it a try in the real world? What is the worst that can happen? Okay would that be so bad? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Davit

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

What the changes in my life mean to me are that I might form a friendship or two, and be accepted. I left a toxic work environment and that left me with a desire to not connect with people. This forum has helped me to see that if a virtual community can be accepting, this platform can allow me to begin to trust other "real" communities where I am physically present and all the possibilities that go with that.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

eleveno

I'm not sure when I quit comparing myself to my friends. It might have been when I realized having a lot of money did not make them smarter or better than me. Most of the time it just meant they were luckier or had different standards, but there was a time when I worked very hard to be the best since I could not be the richest. I'm not at all concerned with impressing my friends anymore, what I am concerned with is disappointing my future wife.

And I too have money concerns, not in the case of having enough to raise a family, we are too old, but in just being comfortable in our old age. No one knows the future so no one can know the economy. I do know that in this country children are valuable so there are programs to assist. I don't know about other countries but I do think concern about money is a legitimate worry. It is very expensive to raise a child.

I have found though that if a person wants something bad enough they will find the means. My one regret in life is not having children. I used the excuse that I did not want to pass on medical problems that run in my family. The truth is that I was scared. There has never been an economical time to raise a family so one can only go ahead and do it. I wish I had. And I hope you go ahead and do it. I'm sure you will find the means and I'm sure it will be good for you. I'm sure it will give you purpose and direction in your life.

My best wishes go with you.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 619

Thank you Davit for your detailed explanation and for your point of view. Now I realize that I do most things to please my wife and some friends. As you said pleasing a wife is a good reason which is not the case with my friends. It is the comparison with my friends that brings the most frustration. Me and my wife are planning to have kids, and I would like to have conditions to raise a family (please my family).

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