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Today was great, until tonight

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Today was great, until tonight

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Ashley is right, you should consult with your doctor first but that usually amounts to telling him what you are going to do. He can recommend but only you can know what your body can handle. With Valium I do the stop test. I pick a spot I want to stop to test my reaction time. An intersection is not the place to find out your reactions are a bit slow. I have good rapore with my Doctor, he gives me high and low limits. I'm guilty of thinking others do this too.

Therefore I have to say, make sure your Doctor knows what you are doing.

Davit.

PS. Adding up good days is like building muscles, it takes time and even when you get there you still have to do the maintenance. One mental, one physical, but the same thing.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Hi Wrestler,

I am sorry you had a difficult day yesterday. How are you feeling today?

Please be sure to consult with your doctor before making any changes to your medication.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

Gonna try the valium twice today. Two full doses. Not one and then 1/4 or a half.

Off to work,

David

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Wrestler

I would do what Sunny suggests if you can because you need to break this cycle. If you can't break it that way then I think you should try the Paxil. The other thing you can do is take the valium on a more regular basis just below the fogged in stage to give you a say two week period of grace away from your thoughts. Doing valium random can give you rebound, Paxil would be better because it is less sedating and more steady but you have to commit to a few months.

Now this is just what I would do and I hope you would not drive if you are drug impaired.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Wrestler: Gee, the yoyo of ups and downs is never fun is it? Especially when we are feeling so fearful which continues the cycle of negative thought, then fear, then anxiety, then panic.

Sounds like you need to break this cycle. Have you asked yourself the 10 questions? Have you journalled? Do you do the breathing ex. every day whether you feel panicky or not? Sounds like they worked for you when you did do them. Doing them every day in the morning whether you need to or not relaxes your body so you are ready to start the day in a relaxed state. Just that, not the gym ones where you pump up the circulation. (my opinion only).

For myself, as soon as I get those feelings I start the relaxation ex., muscle or breathing, or both. Usually a quick body scan first trying to relax where I am tight, then the breathing. I realize if you are at work you may not be able to do this, but maybe you could sit in the truck for a minute or two, sip some water and change those thoughts to positive ones, get grounded again. What can you do as soon as you start to feel edgy? Do you have a plan? Do you have a safe place where you know you are o.k? What positive statements can you make for each particular negative thought that surface during the day? Maybe you can write out the positive statements and carry them in a pocket. Read them when needed, remind yourself that it is the anxiety causing this "dis-ease" in your mind and body, that you are healthy and strong.

I remember the times when I was doing well. The attacks had subsided for longer periods of time and one would show up unexpectedly. They were discouraging and caused self-doubt about my mental and physical health.

As for going back to the doctor to try Paxil, all I know is that it worked for me. It did stop the panic attacks for me and allowed me to study the CBT program in earnest. I was ready. I sure hope you finish the program this time, it does work, it really does.

Saying a prayer for you,

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

My day started off really good. I got a great night of sleep. My wife and I enjoyed a nice breakfast and then we headed off to work.

I did take 5 mg of diazepam in the morning. Had a good morning at work. I even was able to go into Whole Foods and buy a couple of things I needed. That was a real success, because I have had trouble going into store and getting through the checkout without having some anxiety ot panic attacks. I was even able to walk all the way through a Walgreens later in the day.

I took 1/4 of a diazepam tablet in the early afternoon. And then it started to get a little cloudy as I drove to my next appointment. I noticed anxiety increasing a little. The neighborhood was not the greatest.

I then finished my day and then left the office and put some gas in my car. While pumping the gas, I suddenly had a thought like an explosion could occurr and it jolted me just a tad. Reminded me of the scene in Terminator 2 where Sarah Connor imagined a nuclear explosion. Not sure if you guys remember that scene.

On the way home I felt a bit tense. By the time I got home, I was obsessing over my own mortality and fearing the reality that we all die some day. I went out back with my wife and looked in on the turtle pen and pond. I let one of our turtles out. That seemed to help. Talking about my anxious moments with my wife also helped.

Then I cooked out dinner and fed the cats, all the while, my obsessing got worse. I began to flush in the face. I took half a diazepam.

It got so bad, that when we were eating and watching Seinfeld, I feared a panic attack. I began to practice some slow and steady breathing. Eventually it calmed down to a level that I could manage. I even cleaned up the dishes and made our chamomile tea and got our lunches ready for tomorrow.

Now I am sitting here venting.

I don't understand why this is happening now. Is this just a setback because of the panic attack I had Friday? I know I often have ups and down following a significant attack. Or is this me getting worse?

The anxiety drained me such that I don't have much energy left. I was supposed to go online and register for a college course.

Now I know we are all mortal and nothing can be done about that, but these darn obsessive thoughts escalate from common things like songs getting stuck in my head to obsessing over work and then to something really scary like fear of dying.

I am starting to question whether I should listen to the doctor who prescribed me Paxil.

Any thoughts?

David

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Today was great, until tonight