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13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you everyone for you're concern and comments. Thankfully the symptoms have gone away, I think it was related to my montly period which came last night, usually right before I lose a lot of water, this was a little more excessive but its gone away to the usual routine, I cannot believe I freaked out like that! I drank a lot of water and cranberry juice, and I had no fever or burning or pain just constant urgency which I now see was related to my monthly cycle, even the pain has gone away except for a little cramping which is normal, and it was probably nerves due to going out for my birthday, I am so glad its gone for the most part, I never feel good this time of month anyway and the panic and depression and my emotional state gets even worse, as I am sure the ladies will understand. I am just glad I know what it was and its going away finally now.

My son started school today and I will be alone all day and that is causing me anxiety, I am having a very heavy time on my monthly and I am dizzy, it was nice to have him here safe and sound and I felt safer too, but of course he has to go to school, I am just going to have to get use to being alone, my therapist came today and he was not too helpful, my husband thinks he is not helping me, its been over six months I have been seeing him, he just sits there and listens and does not really know what to say, which kind of scares me, he said today "its OK to be miserable for awhile and just accept it" but I do NOT want to be miserable anymore and I do not want to accept being a housebound scared person! I dont think he is doing the CBT correctly, my husband thinks he is unable to help me and just comes for the money! I hope not I so need someone to aide me with this, the theripist just does not know what to say? I do not want to accept the way I am its not normal or healthy, I thought seeing a therapist would help but it has not, there is a wonderful clinic nearby for anxiety depression and panic disorders but they do not take insurance and their rates are $250.00 an hour and up......! There is no way we can afford this, I mean who could? they are great but unaffordable,, my husband wants me to fire the therapist but where do I go from there? I think I am so hoping he will still be able to help me, I hate to start with a new person, maybe he has gone as far as he can go, maybe its me and I am so severe that after six months he has given up. I just dont know. I am so confused right now.

I will continue the homework and diary and reading and hope for the best. I so want my life back, I hope I can be like Sunny, it felt so great to read how wonderful she has done, and she has been wonderful too me. I still have hope, I cannot give up hope.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Debora: I'm late on the site today. I agree with Ashley, I think I would go to the doctor or a walk-in clinic. I always think, better be safe than sorry. I wouldn't worry about going for nothing as it is for something. It's peace of mind if there's nothing wrong and peace of mind if there is and you need antibiotics to help you get well.

No need to apologize for your post, I've been scared like that too. I wish I had a site like this when I was going through my worse times. Post as often as you want and rant and vent. It's all o.k. Did you read my blog? I ranted and vented on it and it helped to get it off my chest.

Hope today is better. Let us know how you are doing.

Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Debora,

I am sorry you are not feeling well. I wanted to drop in to encourage you to see a doctor regarding your symptoms. Especially if you feel the symptoms are crippling; it is very important to seek medical attention. I am not a doctor but I do know that an untreated bladder infection can spread to a kidney infection which can cause symptoms like back pain in the kidney area and abdominal pain. If it is a bladder or kidney infection it is essential to get medical treatment. Likely they will do a simple urine test and prescribe antibiotics. Many walk in clinics are able to diagnose these types of infections.

Let us know how your feeling! Get well soon.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Beautifully stated Davit and absolutely true Debora.... we are all pulling for you. You can't go wrong following the advice of Davit and Sunny. They both have helped so many of us. Hang in there. It DOES work.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora.

If we are quiet it does not mean we are upset. We just might not have any thing to say or don't want to interfere. CBT does work but for some of us it is a struggle we live with every day. So it is constant vigilance. Not every day but enough to remind us that we have a panic disorder. It is no different from the cravings of a smoker or an alcoholic. Once cured you can never go back. For us there are the tools to deal with the anxiety that tries to sneak back in. The program will give you the tools that you need and that many with out panic just do subconsciously.

Think of it like brushing your teeth. Just normal maintenance you do everyday without much thought. CBT becomes like that. Once you have the tools ingrained you will use them without much notice. You worry too much. CBT works, in fact you probably will not even notice when you start to get better, it just happens. Do the program and let it happen. And come to us. Post often and listen to Sunny, she has been through what you are going through and came out the other side. And the other side is beautiful and worth the journey. Vigilant you will have to be forever now that you know what panic is but the work you will only have to do once if you stick to it. It works.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Sunny, I just wanted to apologize for my earlier post, I sounded so hysterical and out of control I am a little embarrsed. I just get so scared and terrified of these bodily symptoms sometimes. I am a little calmer right now I hope as the weeks go by on the program I will feel better. I was panicking very badly before I hope I did not upset any of the forum. Thank you.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you Sunny for that Happy Birthday Post that was very pretty and thoughtful. I would of wrote back sooner but I had a meltdown of sorts. The night before my birthday I developed some kind of urinary tract infection, I was up ALL night going to the bathroom and only slept about 3 hours, it was horrible, I drank a lot of water and cranberry juice and thought it was cleared up. We went to dinner on my birthday but it was very shaky, I was exhausted and panicky about not sleeping and the constant urination and my husband was not happy about it and showed his displeasure, I cannot believe I got sick on my birthday, I have had panic attacks for the last couple days and pretty much took too my bed and I am so mad at myelf.

Right now I just want to run to ER Sunny my stomach is hurting so bad, its like cramping burning pain down below, I thought perhaps it was my period but no flow just bad bad cramps, and that scared me so bad I had a full blown panic today, I cannot even eat, and my husband is very disgusted and mad, I try to stay in the bedroom so he does not see me like this.

I should of gone to Urgent care today but last time I went there it was not a good experience, they misdiagnosed me and it got worse, I am so afraid right now Sunny about this stomachache, I fear its like this horrible infection or bladder or ovarian cancer! The pain is so bad and it radiates to my back, I cannot even tell the difference between the physical and emotional anymore, I hate to spend the night in ER, I hope it goes away and I can go to my Doctor tommorow, I dont have a temp and I guess that is good, I am listening to my relaxtion tapes and I even took a whole klonopin, yesterday and today were very bad and my son starts school tommorow so I will all alone, I hope its just pre-period cramps but of course I think its something life threatning and I am so dizzy and shaky its hard to even leave the house to go to the doctor, I am scared my husband has just about had it with me, he wants a healthy vibrant wife not some sickly housebound emotional cripple, people have said he will leave me, God I hope not, I just pray this stomachache goes away and does not kill me, did you ever get period cramps bad but no flow? I hope that is what it is, I am in peri-menopause and everything it different, maybe I will go to urgent care tommorow, my Doctor is always over booked and cannot see my for a few days and then I wait over 2 hours to get in the room with him! I just want this all to go away Sunny and it seems like its getting worse even through I am trying so hard and doing the program and praying. I am afraid to sleep because I may not wake up, isn't that awful? I just wish this stomach pain would go away and I know I would feel better, I am so afraid its something bad and it just wont let up.

I am sorry Sunny, I must sound like a nut! its just all the pain and panic for 3 days have exhausted me, I am afraid to go to the hospital and afraid not too, with school starting my son needs me, I just hope the UTI did not cause some massive stomach infection. I am hoping this too will pass, please forgive my hysteria, I am alone and so afraid, I just want to get better.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Debora:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Debora: Everyone is different so no one is an exact fit for any kind of study/research. Yes, I still think you can get better from those negative thinking patterns. Takes practice, just keep changing it to a positive thought when you have a negative one. Hard work at first, you're learning a new way of doing things, but it will get easier.

Sometimes I haven't felt like celebrating my b'day either, ugh, another year and all. Sometimes instead of fighting it, I just go with the flow and let others do for me. It usually turns out well and have a good time. We learn to give as mothers and wives - we also must learn to accept graciously what others lovingly want to give us. How come we give ourselves permission to give and give but not give permission for others to give to us? We can't hog all the glory, they need a turn to show their love too. It's not always all about us. This is what a family is about, the sharing, give and take on both sides. friends too. It takes two to tango as the old saying goes.

Do you take walks during the day? Doesn't have to be very far and can be close to home. It's the idea to get out and get some fresh air every day, even if it is just down to the corner of the street and back again. If it's only three houses at a time, that's o.k. too. After awhile you add a couple of houses and so on.

What can you do or say to yourself when you are making dinner and a sneak attack starts up? I used to slowly sip a glass of cold water and take some deep breaths. Sometimes start humming or singing something, anything at all. A great distraction but also singing forces you to open up the lungs and breathe.

Just some ideas.

You're doing o.k. D. just remember one day at a time, slow and easy and be good to yourself.

Keep the faith,

Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you Sunny, I needed that encouragement today. I was making dinner before and another "surprise" attack came, it seems like this is my bad time but I enjoy cooking dinner so I do not understand that. I was able to fight it off by distracting myself and breathing, it almost was as exhausting as having it, just fighting it off but some how I got through it thankfully.

Tommarow is my birthday and I am so hoping and praying that I do not have to live another year like this, my husband was angry I did not order a cake and I do not want to celebrate, I think its because my last birthday last year a few weeks later is when everything "went south" so to speak, I dont want a cake or cards or presents I just want to get better, that is my birthday prayer to heal and recover, my husband wants to take me to dinner but I am kind of afraid to go I have not been out of the house much at all, I am hoping tommorow is a good day so I can go out, I have been having bad cramps for a few days in my lower tummy, I am in peri-menopause and I feel that just exaberates the condition, I never know what to expect and the heavy bleeding scares me to death, I read a book about menopause and it scared the heck out of me! no help there.

Do you think Sunny this program can help severe hypocrondria? I know I have panic anxiety and depression but I think what feeds it more than anything else is the health anxiety, do you think this program can help very very bad health anxiety? I think if that went away the other things would too. I am sure other members probably had this problem too I would love to hear how they conquered their hypocrondria. When I turned 50 last year I guess I thought "oh God this is it" and I had health problems and it all just spiraled out of control. My Mom died at 55 and I guess part of my fear is that I will too! I know that is in the back of my mind, if I could just forget about my body and symptoms I know I would be better, easier said than done, the panic and depression started after the flu, the broncitis twice, the ovarian cyst bursting, then I think the leg blood clot was the thing that "pushed me off the cliff" I have to forget about those things and stop thinking "whats next"? I have this mind-set that I am fifty years old and I am too old to get better that health problems come a lot more as we age, which I know it true, I just do not want to spend anymore time worrying about it. Do you think CBT can help severe health anxiety? I have read its very hard to cure and I am hoping that is not true. I hate thinking about disease sickness and death all time.

Thank you for listening. I feel a little hope at least and I hope this program will help me, I dont want to think I am the one and only one that it will not help because of my age and severity of it. I have to get rid of the negative thoughts, I will do the relaxation exercises and pamper and try to think good living thoughts and not of death. I so want to live again and enjoy life.

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