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Hoarding, Waiting for A Rainy Day or Procrastinating Cleaning Up

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Red,

There are some with OCD who an obsession with order, from a documentary I watched briefly, including an actor named Marilu Henner. Although they're not paid as professional organizers, if we had their "gift" of order, we could be administrative geniuses and simplify our lives...everything in moderation as they say

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 252

Hugs,

I am so glad to hear you kept the blanket..

I like your idea of getting plastic bins and labeling them if the need arises...Now that is positive thinking in action..

I have some plastic bins that I have saved things in that have a special meaning to me..I have one I put some of my late husband things in. Like his flag presented to me at his burial service.I also have his favorite motorcycle jacket, his 10 year pin and 13 yr. knife given to him at work, a can opener which he called a church key that he carried with him all the time he was in Vietnam, his military medals, some photos, a bear made by hospice etc...and of course his tool box and all his tools..I also have a plastic bin with some of my sons baby things in it...You get the idea...I have all kind of large boulders and Indian grinding stones in my yard from me dad...So as you can see it is possible to down size and still keep the things that have a special meaning for you...

I will not say tell you it will be easy, going through all of you or your loved ones things but it can be done..There may be a lot of tears and feeling that will come up I am sure, but in the end you will still have some of the things that have a special meaning to you...It took me a long long time to do this and I would work on it for a day or so and then take a break and work on it again...I spent days and days just shredding paper in my shredder. If you take your time with it and do a little each day I am sure you will see yourself starting to make some progress...

Be gentle with yourself,

Red.....

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

hugs4U

The secret to success in all things is knowing the theory behind it. The interesting thing about theory is that it can transcend borders. Theory on one subject can give you the answer to something seemingly not to be related. Theory can take the rigidity out of something and make it flexable. If you know the theory behind this program or CBT you can find the answer to any question related to mental conditions. And as Ashley pointed out real hoarding is a mental condition. Therefore the theory behind why people have the mental conditions that they have should cover it. We just have to find it. If CBT can help OCD it should be able to help hoarding. I feel that hoarding is probably a product of our life and upbringing. Like core beliefs. Just maybe a little different.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

It’s scary to hear that something is outside of the programme, since I guess I wish this was a panacea, and I’ve had so much success. I retrieved the WWII blanket out of the garbage this morning, since it can be used as padding for moving(mom wanted to throw it out).

I had an instructor in computer science who kept his files in plastic bags. Looking back on that, I wonder but there is an alternative. I suppose if mom does that, and I purchased plastic bins with masking tape, she could label stuff.

It’s just hard to grasp our instructor trying to teach us to programme efficiently and then walk into an office so cluttered.

Fortunately I surrounded myself with constructive people and distanced myself from other kinds.

I know someone who's used a professional organizer, but at some level, it's just elbow grease, like a lot of things.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 252

Hoarding ??

I don't want to over step my bounds here..but I have some information that just might help in some way..I am not sure...

I have a class instructor that may have a hoarding problem..She hired someone to come to her home and help her sort through her things and get organized this year..I think she has made some head way. She seemed very happy at first and excited about going through her belongings..She was having a good time reminiscing about the things she found in her house.

I did ask her a couple months ago how it was going and she said ok but she seemed a little down about it..I am not sure if she ever parted with anything but she did bring in some fabric to give away in class and several measuring tapes..I do know it has been very hard for her to part with her things as they relate to the memories of her family and her teaching career...She is still collecting things and small pieces of fabric for stuffing cat beds which she has us save for her, which she in turn takes home to give to a lady who makes cat beds..I think she might still be working on digging out of her hoarding. I sure hope so. It has been very hard for her...

My partner has a ex wife and his ex wifes sister who are hoarders of both objects and animals..These two women have been hoarding for several decades now and it has ruined there family..They keep two homes for there hoarding... He and his grown children have tried to help them but these women do not see themselves as hoarders..and are down right hostile if anyone tries to help them which they see as interference..We have all had to step back from this situation and go on with our lives...

The point I am trying to make here is that if a person has a serious hoarding problem I think they need to get help from a professional like a Physiologist who deals with hoarding issues..Of course they have to be willing to accept help..

Red..

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11212

Hi Hugs,

I can see how a rug from WWII would have a lot of meaning! I want to differentiate between hoarding and having difficulty letting go of specific items. Hoarders have difficulty letting go of anything. Hoarding can be a problem when it interferes with your day to day life. Often it is hard for individuals who have issues with hoarding to admit they even have a problem. If you suspect you or your mother has trouble with hoarding then it is best to seek help. Forcing a hoarder to get rid of items may actually make it worse if they are not ready for it. Unfortunately this program does not include information on hoarding.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hello everyone: What a timely post! For the last couple of weeks I have been going over things at my house wondering what to keep and what to throw out. I have WWII things from my Dad also and an old persian rug - I mean old - from when he was stationed in Rabat, Morrocco and just things .... I have had to clean out my parents last home too and I still have a box full in the basement of things I don't paricularly want nor need, but.... Always difficult. I got rid of some baby clothes items a couple of yrs. back. I had saved the first baby shoes of each child and special outfit. I gave them to each child and they can do what they want with it. lol. Okay, maybe a little sneaky. Same with their baby books and drawings from school (just the special ones) etc. Made a box for each one and put their things in it. Voila, that part was done. Now onto the next. I like the idea of "if you don't use it after 6 months" get rid of it. I've read you are supposed to do this with your clothes too. Haven't worn it in a couple of yrs. get rid of it.

When things have sentimental value it is difficult to give away. I'm going to try and remember that I still have the memories and that's what needs to be kept up, not all the "stuff". Pass the stories on to family, friends.

I wish everyone good luck in this - lol. It ain't easy.

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I think we probably all hoard to a certain extent, more so if we are poor and have had to get as much use as possible out of every thing. I grew up with a lot of hand me downs so I got used to not throwing anything out till it was beyond use. Even at that I would sometimes buy the same item so the broken one could be spare parts. ( people actually do this ) I too now do the " if you don't use it throw it". But I think some things need a whole year if they might be seasonal. We have a swap shed at every transit station (garbage dump name now) where you can put stuff that is still usable but not by you. You can also help yourself to what you find there. My TV and VCR came from there. Some one upgraded. I got a real nice ceramic pie plate there and a Food dehydrator. I think people are more inclined to part with things if they know some one can use them. There are always dishes and toys there, books and movies. Ski's, skates, roller blades, computer monitors and hair dryers are common items. Every town should have a place like this and some one to monitor it and throw out the junk that invariably gets mixed in.

Davit. Who has some useless momentos from his dad. Can't part with them yet. Soon though.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Hugs,

Sometimes, it really really helps to find a really good home for things.... such as a museum for WWII items, or give to someone who can appreciate the history of an item or maybe even someone who is adept at repurposing items, or a charity organization that can sell the item for much needed funds. Organizing and simplifying are so important toward greater mental health.... but so very hard to do. My 80 year old mother has adopted a new philosophy called WabiSabi .... a way to simplify life. One trick she has learned is to box things up and mark the date on them.... after 6 months, if you have not needed to get into the box.... it is time to find the stuff a new home. My thoughts are with you in the very difficult task of downsizing the accouterments of your mother's lifetime. Not an easy task. Ever.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

The problem with keeping, is where do you draw the line? I miss dad, and he made this rug of a dog, while in hospital. It means a lot, but I guess I could downsize by taking a picture of that rug.

I understand that as we grow older, we become more conscious of wanting to not be a bother to those we leave behind.

This helps me clean up sometimes.

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Hoarding, Waiting for A Rainy Day or Procrastinating Cleaning Up