Hi All, just an update, for the the first time in 13 or so years I feel hopeful, I have started therapy, I guess I will go every 2 weeks, found out I have alot of unresolved issues, dating back as long as 30 yrs. I was told all issues will be dealt with sooner or later, but when you stack then up, you deal with them indirectly by anxiety or panic. So the long journey begins to come to terms with everything, one step at a time. I am kinda overwhelmed on how long the road will be, but I am a strong person and I know I'll come out the other side feeling even better than ever. I have to try very hard to be positive, I come from a family that is full of negativity, so my faith is my best support and this web site, which really is great, wish i knew about it sooner. any advice is welcomed, I really feel better most times just knowing that there are so many caring people on this site. thanks ! jaybe